Yay, a fellow haiku enthusiast! Awesome b-day energy, and cool concept for the lyric structure. Happiest birthday wishes to your stepkid!

Yay, a fellow haiku enthusiast! :D Awesome b-day energy, and cool concept for the lyric structure. Happiest birthday wishes to your stepkid!

This is totally amazing! Makes me want to kick over an amp wearing a party hat!

This is totally amazing! Makes me want to kick over an amp wearing a party hat!

Green Day says Happy Birthday and Cease and Desist.

I didn't even read the blurb before I heard Billie Joe clear as day. Also my fave Green Day era I think.

Fantastic tho. Tone sounds great. Only note: you missed an opportunity for a long buzzy feedback squelch guitar fade out at the end there. Maybe some foley where you knocked over the mic stand and tripped over an amp lol.

wizard!

Green Day says Happy Birthday and Cease and Desist. I didn't even read the blurb before I heard Billie Joe clear as day. Also my fave Green Day era I think. Fantastic tho. Tone sounds great. Only note: you missed an opportunity for a long buzzy feedback squelch guitar fade out at the end there. Maybe some foley where you knocked over the mic stand and tripped over an amp lol. <3 wizard! <3

Hey Paisleyfrog, neat track, once again! I like the concept of this one.

I'm not a fan of the heavy handed tuned vocals, but I get why you did it. It fits the style. Your composition is definitely tapping into the punk rock tracks from 25-30 years ago. So I think you've nailed that!

That solo over the outro that Neon Liminal mentioned would have been a nice addition. But that's just icing on the birthday cake. Where I think the biggest gains could be made would be in the production.

The era of punk rock from around the turn of the century is characterized with a big, bright, tight and wide production. Where it all feels larger than life. And with a real sheen to the sound. I realize that what I'm about to say sounds harsh, but I say it with the best of intentions. To my ears your song sounds rather small, murky and narrow. And indeed, stuffy. Those are things that can be remedied! They're just mixing issues, not song writing issues. And I'm sure if you had a few more days to mix it you would get closer.

Somethings to consider, your guitars are  flabby. The have a lot of unnecessary information. They need tighter eq'ing. Especially make the rhythm guitar bite. Don't be afraid of using gates. Or drawing automation curves to get some definition. It's a delicate process. Take away too much, it becomes brittle. Take a away too little, and they're murky. But you can get there!

Going by ear, I'm thinking they have too much energy around 180Hz to 300Hz. Think they could lose some energy around 600Hz as well. Those are just rough estimates.

You're doing this already, but I don't think you're going far enough yet. Have distinct parts on the left and right. Don't play the same stuff. Play different, complimenting riffs on each side. And pan hard left and hard right. If you have different guitars and amps, use them! Use mono signals on each side. But have subtle things that pan in between.

Don't be afraid of adding a stereo widener on your guitar bus. Fill out the stereo image. Just check mono compatibility with what you're doing. And harking back to what we talked about last week. You can add that additional stereo width only the choruses, for example. To make those pop outside of the speakers a bit more.

Your drums sound like they're from the 80s era of punk rock. What they play is fine, but the mix could be tighter. They're quiet and cardboard sounding. I think they could use some more 'oomph' for this style of music. The hihats have some serious phase issues. When you play your track in mono they'll disappear. Equalizers and compressors are your friends. Compressors don't just make things louder. You can also use them as sound shapers. Give more impact to your drum sounds, for example. And/or make them ring out longer. So you can get that big, punk rock drum sound.

Right now your vocal feels to loud to me. But I think once the guitars get more of their own, distinct spaces on the left and right that'll even out. Don't be afraid to carve out your vocal frequency out of the guitars. And you can totally automate that so it just ducks those frequencies when they voice is present if you find that hurts the guitars otherwise.

I realize this is a lot of feedback. And it may come across like I think 'everything is wrong', but I assure that's not the case. Most of what I'm suggesting are relatively small moves. Tweaks that together take it to the next level. At any rate, this is of course all my opinion. So feel free to ignore it.

Finally, I would recommend using some references while mixing. Load a few of the tracks of the style you're going for into a DAW. Along your own tracks. And listen to difference in frequency distribution. You'll want to level match their apparent loudness to your track. So they sound equally loud, to get a good impression of the differences. But it can help you identify weak points in your mix. And really, check your references often. Every 10-15 minutes. Listen to those for a few minutes. Refresh your ear and keep yourself on the right path with your mix. It's hard, I know. I fall into that trap all the time myself.

Anyway, as always, I really enjoyed your tune. And I hope my feedback is useful to you, or anyone else here in this wonderful community.

Hey Paisleyfrog, neat track, once again! I like the concept of this one. I'm not a fan of the heavy handed tuned vocals, but I get why you did it. It fits the style. Your composition is definitely tapping into the punk rock tracks from 25-30 years ago. So I think you've nailed that! That solo over the outro that Neon Liminal mentioned would have been a nice addition. But that's just icing on the birthday cake. Where I think the biggest gains could be made would be in the production. The era of punk rock from around the turn of the century is characterized with a big, bright, tight and wide production. Where it all feels larger than life. And with a real sheen to the sound. I realize that what I'm about to say sounds harsh, but I say it with the best of intentions. To my ears your song sounds rather small, murky and narrow. And indeed, stuffy. Those are things that can be remedied! They're just mixing issues, not song writing issues. And I'm sure if you had a few more days to mix it you would get closer. Somethings to consider, your guitars are flabby. The have a lot of unnecessary information. They need tighter eq'ing. Especially make the rhythm guitar bite. Don't be afraid of using gates. Or drawing automation curves to get some definition. It's a delicate process. Take away too much, it becomes brittle. Take a away too little, and they're murky. But you can get there! Going by ear, I'm thinking they have too much energy around 180Hz to 300Hz. Think they could lose some energy around 600Hz as well. Those are just rough estimates. You're doing this already, but I don't think you're going far enough yet. Have distinct parts on the left and right. Don't play the same stuff. Play different, complimenting riffs on each side. And pan hard left and hard right. If you have different guitars and amps, use them! Use mono signals on each side. But have subtle things that pan in between. Don't be afraid of adding a stereo widener on your guitar bus. Fill out the stereo image. Just check mono compatibility with what you're doing. And harking back to what we talked about last week. You can add that additional stereo width only the choruses, for example. To make those pop outside of the speakers a bit more. Your drums sound like they're from the 80s era of punk rock. What they play is fine, but the mix could be tighter. They're quiet and cardboard sounding. I think they could use some more 'oomph' for this style of music. The hihats have some serious phase issues. When you play your track in mono they'll disappear. Equalizers and compressors are your friends. Compressors don't just make things louder. You can also use them as sound shapers. Give more impact to your drum sounds, for example. And/or make them ring out longer. So you can get that big, punk rock drum sound. Right now your vocal feels to loud to me. But I think once the guitars get more of their own, distinct spaces on the left and right that'll even out. Don't be afraid to carve out your vocal frequency out of the guitars. And you can totally automate that so it just ducks those frequencies when they voice is present if you find that hurts the guitars otherwise. I realize this is a lot of feedback. And it may come across like I think 'everything is wrong', but I assure that's not the case. Most of what I'm suggesting are relatively small moves. Tweaks that together take it to the next level. At any rate, this is of course all my opinion. So feel free to ignore it. Finally, I would recommend using some references while mixing. Load a few of the tracks of the style you're going for into a DAW. Along your own tracks. And listen to difference in frequency distribution. You'll want to level match their apparent loudness to your track. So they sound equally loud, to get a good impression of the differences. But it can help you identify weak points in your mix. And really, check your references often. Every 10-15 minutes. Listen to those for a few minutes. Refresh your ear and keep yourself on the right path with your mix. It's hard, I know. I fall into that trap all the time myself. Anyway, as always, I really enjoyed your tune. And I hope my feedback is useful to you, or anyone else here in this wonderful community.

Thank you! It was so fun to think in haiku for this. I set up my first lyrics, and then I was like...NO...the haikus all need to rhyme!

And thank you for birthday wishes! Funny thing is that stepkid the younger is now fifteen - I'm going into the archives for these pics

Damn, I should have done that...my amp has a spring reverb, it would have made an awesome nice Thank you!!!

Thank you! Lots of mix problems in this, but I overall like the tone...TOTALLY ran out of time on this one.

My first band was a 90s cover band, and we played a LOT of Green Day...I love the high harmony parts

Once again, amazing comment...thank you so much. I'm rather pleased because based on what you're talking about, I'm definitely on the right track - I did a LOT of what you're talking about, but it's largely a matter of the degrees I need to work on.

Re: stereo width, I did more work with spreader controls during mixing than before...but for whatever reason, I never use a hard pan left and right, don't use extreme settings like that. So yep, I'm closing in my mix during the tracking phase. I'll try using a WIDE pan in future mixes and see what it can do for me. I also RARELY use a spreader on individual instrument tracks. I'll keep that in mind.

I actually did a ton of EQ sculpting on the guitars - high and lo pass, plus other frequency shaping. (I'm experimenting with dynamic EQ for frequency assist, and just got some plugs for frequency masking to help my vocals sit better in the future. More stuff to learn!) I ultimately like the tone I got via shaping, but I don't think that was the problem.

I don't think it was a LACK of compression that was hurting me, rather OVER compression and issues with attack. My drums sounded worse previously, snare was more a "whap" than a "crack"...I think I killed my transients with too fast of an attack. Backed off compression and it sounded...better, but still not good. Likewise guitars, I lost the bite with too much attack...which might explain the flab you're hearing. I always double and pan guitars, but I usually keep the rhythms the same - I think because I've had lack of definition due to over-attack on the compressor, different rhythms just sound like mush. I love it when I hear slightly different rhythms on the pan, but I've never been able to get it to work...stuff to think about.

Amusingly, I think I go too extreme with compression, and not extreme enough with pan and stereo field. This is good to know for the future

Definitely agree that my vocals were too far forward. I needed another day on the mix, but that wasn't happening....as it was, I essentially re-tracked this entire song on Saturday morning because of delays and issues during the week, had to stop at 1:30 (because of aforementioned birthday party), and then wasn't able to revisit. This mix definitely ended up as, "it is what it is".

Thank you so much for the insights! I'm really enjoying thinking about what you're saying, and seeing what I can do in the future. Appreciate you!

[quote=levelcapybara]Yay, a fellow haiku enthusiast! :D Awesome b-day energy, and cool concept for the lyric structure. Happiest birthday wishes to your stepkid! [/quote] Thank you! It was so fun to think in haiku for this. I set up my first lyrics, and then I was like...NO...the haikus all need to rhyme! :) And thank you for birthday wishes! Funny thing is that stepkid the younger is now fifteen - I'm going into the archives for these pics :D [quote=bobbyd]This is totally amazing! Makes me want to kick over an amp wearing a party hat![/quote] Damn, I should have done that...my amp has a spring reverb, it would have made an awesome nice :) Thank you!!! [quote=neon liminal]Green Day says Happy Birthday and Cease and Desist. I didn't even read the blurb before I heard Billie Joe clear as day. Also my fave Green Day era I think. Fantastic tho. Tone sounds great. Only note: you missed an opportunity for a long buzzy feedback squelch guitar fade out at the end there. Maybe some foley where you knocked over the mic stand and tripped over an amp lol. <3 wizard! <3[/quote] Thank you! Lots of mix problems in this, but I overall like the tone...TOTALLY ran out of time on this one. My first band was a 90s cover band, and we played a LOT of Green Day...I love the high harmony parts :) [quote=electronic_tiger][/quote] Once again, amazing comment...thank you so much. I'm rather pleased because based on what you're talking about, I'm definitely on the right track - I did a LOT of what you're talking about, but it's largely a matter of the degrees I need to work on. Re: stereo width, I did more work with spreader controls during mixing than before...but for whatever reason, I never use a hard pan left and right, don't use extreme settings like that. So yep, I'm closing in my mix during the tracking phase. I'll try using a WIDE pan in future mixes and see what it can do for me. I also RARELY use a spreader on individual instrument tracks. I'll keep that in mind. I actually did a ton of EQ sculpting on the guitars - high and lo pass, plus other frequency shaping. (I'm experimenting with dynamic EQ for frequency assist, and just got some plugs for frequency masking to help my vocals sit better in the future. More stuff to learn!) I ultimately like the tone I got via shaping, but I don't think that was the problem. I don't think it was a LACK of compression that was hurting me, rather OVER compression and issues with attack. My drums sounded worse previously, snare was more a "whap" than a "crack"...I think I killed my transients with too fast of an attack. Backed off compression and it sounded...better, but still not good. Likewise guitars, I lost the bite with too much attack...which might explain the flab you're hearing. I always double and pan guitars, but I usually keep the rhythms the same - I think because I've had lack of definition due to over-attack on the compressor, different rhythms just sound like mush. I love it when I hear slightly different rhythms on the pan, but I've never been able to get it to work...stuff to think about. Amusingly, I think I go too extreme with compression, and not extreme enough with pan and stereo field. This is good to know for the future :) Definitely agree that my vocals were too far forward. I needed another day on the mix, but that wasn't happening....as it was, I essentially re-tracked this entire song on Saturday morning because of delays and issues during the week, had to stop at 1:30 (because of aforementioned birthday party), and then wasn't able to revisit. This mix definitely ended up as, "it is what it is". Thank you so much for the insights! I'm really enjoying thinking about what you're saying, and seeing what I can do in the future. Appreciate you!

Yessssss I was bopping my head along to this one! So fun! The "put the cake on a dish" was great, I lol'ed.
This song is making me want to dig out my old Converse from the back of my closet...

Yessssss I was bopping my head along to this one! So fun! The "put the cake on a dish" was great, I lol'ed. This song is making me want to dig out my old Converse from the back of my closet...

very fun birthday song! one of these days i'll match your confidence and start singing on my own tracks more.

very fun birthday song! one of these days i'll match your confidence and start singing on my own tracks more.

Love the line "its my Birthday song" love this

Love the line "its my Birthday song" love this

oh yes feeling those green day/blink 182 vibes! Such a fun song that especially on st. patrick's makes me wanna kick over an amp \m/ well done!

oh yes feeling those green day/blink 182 vibes! Such a fun song that especially on st. patrick's makes me wanna kick over an amp :) \m/ well done!

you always crush genre recreation so it's no surprise the research and effort that you put into getting there. Another banger in the bag!

you always crush genre recreation so it's no surprise the research and effort that you put into getting there. Another banger in the bag!

Holy cats you're absolutely mad in all the best ways. From concept to execution, top notch.

Holy cats you're absolutely mad in all the best ways. From concept to execution, top notch.

do you have the time
to listen to me rhyme
about haiku and birthdays
and guitar tone??

why yes, yes i do!

[i]do you have the time to listen to me rhyme about haiku and birthdays and guitar tone??[/i] why yes, yes i do! [img]https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia2.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FxT0xeIapPyrrYwfBxC%2Fgiphy.gif&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=e2cc0854a2f423a56f09197b34a5da572445403b918bb4df84066ddd3cbab574[/img]

Thank you! I was having fun with this. And makes me think of all the Chucks I had back in the day as well

I look forward to hearing that! Love the sound of your voice on the tracks you’ve spoken on, can’t wait to hear what creative things you’ll do

Thank you! That’s my favorite line of this one was well - the rest ended up a bit pitchy

Thanks! I think we need a WB outing to a Dropkick Murphys show. 😁

Thanks! I might revisit the style later and give it a bit more time - looking forward to applying all these mix tricks I’m learning

We’re all mad here 😁

Thank you! WB is the best place in the world to test out insanity.

I sang that to myself 😁 ❤️

[quote=Dyrt Dyzyrt]Yessssss I was bopping my head along to this one! So fun! The "put the cake on a dish" was great, I lol'ed. This song is making me want to dig out my old Converse from the back of my closet...[/quote] Thank you! I was having fun with this. And makes me think of all the Chucks I had back in the day as well :D [quote=scottux]very fun birthday song! one of these days i'll match your confidence and start singing on my own tracks more.[/quote] I look forward to hearing that! Love the sound of your voice on the tracks you’ve spoken on, can’t wait to hear what creative things you’ll do :) [quote=b bro]Love the line "its my Birthday song" love this[/quote] Thank you! That’s my favorite line of this one was well - the rest ended up a bit pitchy :) [quote=Tone Matrix]oh yes feeling those green day/blink 182 vibes! Such a fun song that especially on st. patrick's makes me wanna kick over an amp :) \m/ well done![/quote] Thanks! I think we need a WB outing to a Dropkick Murphys show. 😁 [quote=SQF]you always crush genre recreation so it's no surprise the research and effort that you put into getting there. Another banger in the bag! [/quote] Thanks! I might revisit the style later and give it a bit more time - looking forward to applying all these mix tricks I’m learning :) [quote=MRDRCAT]Holy cats you're absolutely mad in all the best ways. From concept to execution, top notch.[/quote] We’re all mad here 😁 Thank you! WB is the best place in the world to test out insanity. [quote=jwh][i]do you have the time to listen to me rhyme about haiku and birthdays and guitar tone??[/i] why yes, yes i do! [/quote] I sang that to myself 😁 ❤️

LOL, like how. Five-star Alice in Chains one week, five-star pop punk next week. What's your age again? What's your age again?

LOL, like how. Five-star Alice in Chains one week, five-star pop punk next week. What's your age again? What's your age again?

Thanks! Chronologically or mentally?

This one was fun to make (and really took me back to the days of my first cover band), but I really want to remix. I'll give it a few more months and then revisit. I've been learning some additional drum mixing tricks, looking forward to applying what I've been learning

[quote=RPLKTR]LOL, like how. Five-star Alice in Chains one week, five-star pop punk next week. What's your age again? What's your age again?[/quote] Thanks! Chronologically or mentally? :) This one was fun to make (and really took me back to the days of my first cover band), but I really want to remix. I'll give it a few more months and then revisit. I've been learning some additional drum mixing tricks, looking forward to applying what I've been learning :)

Great skate punk vibes!! And very impressive songwriting, sounds like a fun challenge!
Very well done!!

Also, sitting here taking notes from electronic_tiger's comment... 👀

Great skate punk vibes!! And very impressive songwriting, sounds like a fun challenge! Very well done!! Also, sitting here taking notes from electronic_tiger's comment... 👀

Happy birthday. Maybe it isn't when you read this, but if you read this back on your birthday it will. And when you do, I hope it's a happy one.
Love the sound, it's so cool.
- Devieus

Happy birthday. Maybe it isn't when you read this, but if you read this back on your birthday it will. And when you do, I hope it's a happy one. Love the sound, it's so cool. - Devieus