Listening at work, and this track grabbed me from the first beat. Definitely had my attention when the vocals came in. Great mood and atmosphere, really got the feel of discontent, searching for something. Also, that e piano solo rips.

No roasts. But since you asked, a couple ideas and suggestions

Possibly make your verse vocals sit into the mix a bit more. Love the lofi thing you have going on, so perhaps dial up the saturation a bit more, roll off the bass, pop the mids to give that tinny radio feel. The whole "telephone vocal" thing is maybe a bit overdone, but some of that aesthetic would really fit here with the radio metaphor.

Love the doubling in the chorus. Maybe pan them to give some width, and give back low end you took away in the verse to make it fill a little more. Give your beat a little more oomph to differentiate and make it hit harder - drive your chorus home.

Maybe tighten the space between your verse and chorus, and add a little e piano rip to foreshadow what's coming at the end.

Really enjoyed this, listened three times. Would love a second verse and chorus repeat! Good track.

Listening at work, and this track grabbed me from the first beat. Definitely had my attention when the vocals came in. Great mood and atmosphere, really got the feel of discontent, searching for something. Also, that e piano solo rips. No roasts. But since you asked, a couple ideas and suggestions :) Possibly make your verse vocals sit into the mix a bit more. Love the lofi thing you have going on, so perhaps dial up the saturation a bit more, roll off the bass, pop the mids to give that tinny radio feel. The whole "telephone vocal" thing is maybe a bit overdone, but some of that aesthetic would really fit here with the radio metaphor. Love the doubling in the chorus. Maybe pan them to give some width, and give back low end you took away in the verse to make it fill a little more. Give your beat a little more oomph to differentiate and make it hit harder - drive your chorus home. Maybe tighten the space between your verse and chorus, and add a little e piano rip to foreshadow what's coming at the end. Really enjoyed this, listened three times. Would love a second verse and chorus repeat! Good track. :)

I got a roast, yay! Thanks most do not roast this is very helpful. I set the master loundness based on the verse alone in haste 2m before deadline I think so the chorus is squashed as a main dilemma. The BG vocals are two takes that are already hard L and R panned. Low is a cool idea I've always done the same low cut. This is all great stuff

[quote=Paisleyfrog]Listening at work, and this track grabbed me from the first beat. Definitely had my attention when the vocals came in. Great mood and atmosphere, really got the feel of discontent, searching for something. Also, that e piano solo rips. No roasts. But since you asked, a couple ideas and suggestions :) Possibly make your verse vocals sit into the mix a bit more. Love the lofi thing you have going on, so perhaps dial up the saturation a bit more, roll off the bass, pop the mids to give that tinny radio feel. The whole "telephone vocal" thing is maybe a bit overdone, but some of that aesthetic would really fit here with the radio metaphor. Love the doubling in the chorus. Maybe pan them to give some width, and give back low end you took away in the verse to make it fill a little more. Give your beat a little more oomph to differentiate and make it hit harder - drive your chorus home. Maybe tighten the space between your verse and chorus, and add a little e piano rip to foreshadow what's coming at the end. Really enjoyed this, listened three times. Would love a second verse and chorus repeat! Good track. :) [/quote] I got a roast, yay! Thanks most do not roast this is very helpful. I set the master loundness based on the verse alone in haste 2m before deadline I think so the chorus is squashed as a main dilemma. The BG vocals are two takes that are already hard L and R panned. Low is a cool idea I've always done the same low cut. This is all great stuff

Not a roast, but gonna echo everything Mr. Frog said cuz dude is a solid genre warlock lol. Lyrics and vocals are solid, but yeah, could definitely benefit from that 'telephone speaker' feel - which also means some compression, maybe heavier than you think, to even out the dynamics and give it some grit.

On the note of grit and compression - I think the whole track could really slide well into a 90s lofi feel (thinking Tricky maybe?) with some reasonably strong compression on the master channel and a little mid-side saturation to add some 'air' and dirt - again, on the master channel, not within the mix, to really emulate that lofi signal-chain feel. You've got all the pieces here just gotta glue them together with some filth while you're at it.

The lyrics are solid and deep and better than I write so got nothing to say there but good stuff. The practice is paying off. This was a really great track and feels longer than less-than-three-minutes in the best ways. Awesome work.

Not a roast, but gonna echo everything Mr. Frog said cuz dude is a solid genre warlock lol. Lyrics and vocals are solid, but yeah, could definitely benefit from that 'telephone speaker' feel - which also means some compression, maybe heavier than you think, to even out the dynamics and give it some grit. On the note of grit and compression - I think the whole track could really slide well into a 90s lofi feel (thinking Tricky maybe?) with some reasonably strong compression on the master channel and a little mid-side saturation to add some 'air' and dirt - again, on the master channel, not within the mix, to really emulate that lofi signal-chain feel. You've got all the pieces here just gotta glue them together with some filth while you're at it. The lyrics are solid and deep and better than I write so got nothing to say there but good stuff. The practice is paying off. This was a really great track and feels longer than less-than-three-minutes in the best ways. Awesome work.

This is really good. Lovely crunchy beat. I'm far from a rap specialist but I think you have good flow! The chorus reminds me of an old Swedish Star Trek tribute band called S.P.O.C.K. that I haven't heard for decades. I can't remember the track name but thought that was interesting that you summoned that memory. Dig the little la la la backing vocals too. Is it AI?

Only thing that stood out to me is that it's a little jump scare-y in terms of volume around ~1:44 in terms of volume and gets loader in the solo. Love the solo though!

This is really good. Lovely crunchy beat. I'm far from a rap specialist but I think you have good flow! The chorus reminds me of an old Swedish Star Trek tribute band called S.P.O.C.K. that I haven't heard for decades. I can't remember the track name but thought that was interesting that you summoned that memory. Dig the little la la la backing vocals too. Is it AI? Only thing that stood out to me is that it's a little jump scare-y in terms of volume around ~1:44 in terms of volume and gets loader in the solo. Love the solo though!

The grass is always green on a digital screen

good line!

agree that more grit would be appropriate. good notes upthread

[i]The grass is always green on a digital screen[/i] good line! agree that more grit would be appropriate. good notes upthread

I liked how the percussive elements had a bit of a radio static feel to them.  The flute-like synths were a nice element.  Lyrics are good, but I agree I wouldn't have minded a second verse and maybe a reprise of the chorus. 

I liked how the percussive elements had a bit of a radio static feel to them. The flute-like synths were a nice element. Lyrics are good, but I agree I wouldn't have minded a second verse and maybe a reprise of the chorus.

I knew you were a fan of the roast since that big barbecue

I knew you were a fan of the roast since that big barbecue

Nice one, I dig it. Liked the keys. Agree with the above, good notes from PaisleyFrog on sounds and others about a verse and chorus again, but like the lyrics. Good metaphor, I relate!

Nice one, I dig it. Liked the keys. Agree with the above, good notes from PaisleyFrog on sounds and others about a verse and chorus again, but like the lyrics. Good metaphor, I relate!

I love these background sounds.
- Devieus

I love these background sounds. - Devieus