Tiptoe Through the Tulips (The Tale of Doris and Moose)
By Paisleyfrog on May 10, 2026 8:57 pm
Let’s make something weird.
Ran outside last night and took some pictures of my neighbors yard for the cover art. Because I was like “o shit I need tulips”. And then I remembered, “o yeah, my neighbors.”
It all started when I pulled out my old boxes of tapes. I always say “follow the creativity”, but I wasn’t expecting to end up here. The 4track stuff didn’t yield anything right offhand, but I found an old tape my sister made when she was 12. She got a tape recorder for her birthday and made a whole bunch of recordings of stories and of skits and of picking on her brother. I thought it might be fun to use one of those. The Tale of Doris and Moose (as I call it - it's about "tiptoe through the tulips") was always a little creepy to six year old me. I asked my sister if I could use it - she thought it was hilarious. Agents are go!
What made the song click in my head was realizing I should use some manner of Tiptoe Through the Tulips sample. Tiny Tim wasn’t an option, but I could go much older: it was written in 1929, and those recordings have entered the public domain this year! Grabbed a track from archive.org and got to work.
I thought it might be fun to try and isolate the parts to remix it, so I used the stem separator. Holy carps - it assumed the surface noise of the recording was percussion and completely isolated it. Perfect clean recording! I may need to try that on my own 78s…
I mainly just started throwing odd stuff at Logic and tried to organize it. Glitch2 is a go-to, but it failed me Friday - the plugin crashed in Logic and pretty much took down the project. The only way to reopen it was to uninstall Glitch, open the project and remove it from the tracks. Ugh. That’s for Saturday.
After I went to bed, I figured out what to do. Freakshow plugins instead of Glitch (I mostly used automation on MISHBY, but also used Dumpster Fire. Also overdrive, distortion and delay). Use the story as a middle section. Get a little louder somehow at the end. Done.
All went together pretty easily on Saturday. The guitars went in an unexpected direction…a lot more metal than I was planning…and the major key change at the end amused me, so I went with it.
"Tiptoe Through the Tulips" is public domain. (Jean Goldkette And His Orchestra, 1929)
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