Vertigo Party
By Nicki Jupiter on January 3, 2026 7:34 pm
Vertigo Party by Nicki Jupiter
(headphones with decent bass recommended)
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SONG DEETS
This track is a ride! I had a cool idea from 2017 that was 140 BPM but I also came up with a nifty new take on it at 200 BPM. Instead of picking just one, I decided combine both tempos in a single track. ALSO, in the Discord server David & sleepunit said it has major Streets of Rage vibes and omg I can't not hear it now! That opening line from Go Straight (Stage 1-1) from Streets of Rage seems real familiar.
After I finished the track, I realized I had unintentionally created a fitting musical allegory for my mental health prior to starting my transition in 2025. Just like the overall contour of this piece, my overall mental state went up and down all the time and nothing ever felt stable or resolved. I could vary anywhere from being relatively decent to feeling like the absolute scum of the earth (thinking I wasn't "good enough" in various aspects of life even where I had developed good skills, depersonalization, derealization, heavy anxiety, heavy depression, binging video games just to drown out the relentless emotional numbness, etc). And even when things got better, they inevitably got a lot worse after. Every single time.
The wild ending to this song? That was my life in 2025 before starting my transition. Lowest point in my whole life. My mental state and overall ability to function basically fell off a cliff. Later in 2025, the universe decided it was about damn time for me to discover I'm trans (better late than never). Now since starting my transition, I'm doing a lot better now than I ever have before. Starting my transition literally saved my life. 
So, there's my week one track for you. Hope you enjoy! 
SAMPLE ATTRIBUTION:
A couple of sounds came from the 140 soundtrack by Jakob Schmid. As written there, this soundtrack was released under CC BY 4.0 International. The following parts were sampled under that license from these songs:
✵ Piano type sound: Sampled from 140 Part 1B
✵ Kick + closed hat: 140 Part 2B
✵ Clap: 140 Part 4
GEAR
✵ FL Studio
✵ SunVox (orignal 2017 sketch)
✵ Chroma Lab (Android, art)
✵ Paint.NET (art)
COVER ART (embedded in the mp3)
Created by me using my logo (also designed by me) and a CC0 font called Stereofidelic.
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If you read down this far in the page, thank you very much. There's one last detail about this track I'd like to share that's quite mindboggling.
After making the mental health allegory connection, I felt like certain parts of the song fit certain years of my life quite well. Thinking what the hell why not, I decided to count out the measures and see how well they matched up to multiple years in my life.It worked absurdly well. Expand the section below to see the sequential year by year mapping for the past 19 years of my life.
› Check it out...
Audio works licensed by author under:
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