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WeeklyBeats.com / Music / Jai Cafarella's music / Beautiful Cesspit

Beautiful Cesspit

By Jai Cafarella on April 19, 2020 7:38 pm

I actually didn't leave this one til the last minute, wow!


This track came from a weird place, and completion took the longest of my Weekly Beats submissions so far, as there was a fair bit of experimenting on the fly, and a few creative hurdles from trying to continue my progress in stepping outside of my comfort zone.


While obviously calling out ones abuser, less obvious is whom the abuser is; someone else, or oneself?


Lyrics:


Are you my savior?
Are you my downfall?
Am I your victim?
It's always my fault


My heart is fragile
I'm king of nothing
You keep me conquered
Call me disgusting


I'm getting nowhere
I'm getting desperate
We're co-dependent
Beautiful cesspit


You say you love me
It's control and power
I tried to save you
Instead you broke me


Hollow
Your heart is hollow
No emotion, just emulation
Hollow
Your heart is hollow
No emotion, no emotion is real


You're wretched
Pure evil
You're self-centered
Why is someone like you alive?
You're dishonest
You're traitor
You're a user
Why is someone like you alive?


You're destructive
You're a schemer
You're resentful
Why is someone like you alive?
You're deceitful
You're greedy
You're vengeful
Why is someone like you alive?

Audio works licensed by author under:
CC Attribution Noncommercial (BY-NC)

April 21, 2020 11:21 am

Ryan

Hey this is one of my favourites of yours so far, nice work. Unleashing your inner Trent Reznor.

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April 22, 2020 2:12 am

Jai Cafarella

Ryan wrote:

Hey this is one of my favourites of yours so far, nice work. Unleashing your inner Trent Reznor.

Trent who...? =oP Hehe, yeah, the influence isn't well-hidden. He's one of many artists I love but always felt inferior to. No harm in giving it a go though, as long as I don't Jeff Martin it (the piano riff in Psychopomp by The Tea Party is almost identical to the piano riff in Hurt by NIN). Jeff even did a live acoustic version of Psychopomp where he did a snippet of Hurt in the middle of it.

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April 23, 2020 8:21 am

Devieus

Harsh. Really great composition, I can imagine the song could be about dissociative identity disorder or schizophrenia instead. It'd certainly fit the mood of the song what with the whispers.

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April 25, 2020 6:51 am

rdomain

You can tell you spent some time on this.  Very well done.

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