› Lyrics

‹ Lyrics

Lying awake
Drawing shapes on the ceiling
Waiting for day to break
Disrupted by restless thoughts
And the sounds of the shifting house

Anxious breathing
Becoming my worst enemy

***I couldn't sing this part, it's outside my range

Waiting for blue to break the shadows that bind this place
Waiting for sleep to take
Shuddering at the sound of shuffling from the hallway
As if I'm under a sinister gaze
Straining my eyes in it's wake
is there something watching me?

The moment slipping away
Numbing of the body
Quelling of the conscious mind

Staring into darkness
Shadows enveloping the edges of my sight
Flickered movement within the frame
The haunt of a shapeless thing

› Notes

‹ Notes

I was pretty happy with last week's song so I decided to continue exploring that side of my music, so I'm using roughly the same project template as that one. Same guitar tones, same synth pads, acoustic guitars, etc. The bass is slightly different, I added more chorus and reverb on it here. I'm not winning any awards with the vocal performance. I had vocal melodies in mind but I couldn't find a pleasing timbre to sing them in and my voice strained when I tried to add power to them. Also, there's one more "whisper" section in this track but that's a gimmick I don't really want to overuse. I just thought it was particularly appropriate for this song.

Lyrically this one was inspired by the title. When I was younger and after my first major relationship ended (20-21), I used to spend a lot of time away from the house hanging out with friends. We'd either be hanging out in a garage playing video games, hanging out on a rooftop shooting the shit and looking at the stars, walking around the university campus etc. The night would draw to a close and I'd head home, still pretty wide awake from having a fun night. And most times I'd fall asleep close to the time that the sun finally started to rise and the bluish light would start to spill out from behind the curtains. It was super serene and peaceful and felt kind of like one of those beautiful things you personally experience and can never really do justice with words.

Anyways, later on when I got a little older this feeling took on a different meaning I suppose. Years ago I started to suffer pretty badly from insomnia and I'm not sure what caused it initially but it got exacerbated by increasingly torturous anxiety. At like 3am in the morning when you can't get your mind to rest and your anxiety is heightened, the paranoia starts to kick in. If I did manage to fall asleep some nightmare would startle me awake again and then I'd have this feeling that there could be something there with me in the dark. The fucked up thing is that I knew my mind was playing tricks on me and that this was all just a physical anxiety response, that supernatural shit doesn't exist, but the physicality of it seemed to override my senses and I always thought something could be watching me from the darkest area of the room, normally the open door frame to the closet or hallway. The only time I could seemingly get some rest was when the sun finally started to rise. Well thankfully that shit passed. But I figured it'd make kind of cool subject matter for a song and maybe I could try to represent it as best as I could in this moment.