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WeeklyBeats.com / Music / sugar.export's music / decay and be patient

decay and be patient

By sugar.export on April 24, 2026 10:01 pm

I just did some light editing to a song I worked on a little while ago smile I really enjoy the vibe of the song, the lyrics, and the synth patch with the gliding melody thats right panned.

At the time (and now tbh) the process of grieving who I could have been had I had the space to be me was pretty all consuming and a nearly a daily ritual: reflect on some awful moment in the past and how it changed who I thought I could be in order to be loved, get upset, dissociate, sleep, wake up and hope things are better. I’m happy to say that now Ive processed a lot, and while being in a relationship with someone who loves me deeply for who I am, these types of days I’m describing are few and far between. Shadow work feels like gorging on the big feast of the memories you would rather forget. There comes a point when it’s the only thing you can eat and youll get bloated and nauseous but it isn’t an all you can eat buffet. There is another side. And I hate to say it but I’m stronger for it. Not in a buff, tough, or less sensitive way. But consistently seeing trauma and heartbreak for what it is and naming it does two things. It clears up uncertainty which takes up a lot of emotional bandwidth, and it works those emotional “muscles” so that they can weather other storms.

All in all this song is about greiving who you could have been and realizing that alcohol and other numbing means won’t ever give you back what you lost. It’s a really sad sort of acceptance. Decay and be patient means letting everything you thought you knew about yourself unravel and realign.

Has there been in a time in your life where you had to process old traumas, and if so what is something you would tell someone going through it to show that it was worth it?

› lyrics

April 27, 2026 8:24 pm

alterationx10

I love your track, and it's one of the few I've gone back and replayed a couple of times today! The lyrics were a bit hard to make out, but that kinda fits the vibe too.

> Has there been in a time in your life where you had to process old traumas, and if so what is something you would tell someone going through it to show that it was worth it?

Hell yeah. I think about this Japanese art/process called Kintsugi. It's when something breaks into pieces, it's repaired and the cracks are infilled with something like gold or silver. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. It embraces the idea that broken objects are more beautiful and valuable because they have a unique story.

We are who we are because of all the things we've been through. We can be broken, repaired, and come out better for it.

That's what I tell myself anyway.

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April 28, 2026 2:25 am

sugar.export

alterationx10 wrote:

I love your track, and it's one of the few I've gone back and replayed a couple of times today! The lyrics were a bit hard to make out, but that kinda fits the vibe too.

> Has there been in a time in your life where you had to process old traumas, and if so what is something you would tell someone going through it to show that it was worth it?

Hell yeah. I think about this Japanese art/process called Kintsugi. It's when something breaks into pieces, it's repaired and the cracks are infilled with something like gold or silver. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. It embraces the idea that broken objects are more beautiful and valuable because they have a unique story.

We are who we are because of all the things we've been through. We can be broken, repaired, and come out better for it.

That's what I tell myself anyway.

Thank you for the thoughtful response and multiple listens!
I love the kintsugi idea of rebuilding with gold the cracks that were created from fractures. It was something I remember hearing about but I had forgotten the name. I might do an alternative title for the track one day, would you mind if I ran with your idea of kintsugi?

Also hear you on it’s what you tell yourself. Just because we tell ourselves stories doesnt mean they are artificial or wrong. I think we need meaning in our lives and they often come from stories. It makes me happy to be part of the artistic passion of making art and meaning out our feelings and experiences and talking about them like this:) thanks for being here

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April 30, 2026 1:07 pm

alterationx10

sugar.export wrote:
alterationx10 wrote:

I love your track, and it's one of the few I've gone back and replayed a couple of times today! The lyrics were a bit hard to make out, but that kinda fits the vibe too.

> Has there been in a time in your life where you had to process old traumas, and if so what is something you would tell someone going through it to show that it was worth it?

Hell yeah. I think about this Japanese art/process called Kintsugi. It's when something breaks into pieces, it's repaired and the cracks are infilled with something like gold or silver. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise. It embraces the idea that broken objects are more beautiful and valuable because they have a unique story.

We are who we are because of all the things we've been through. We can be broken, repaired, and come out better for it.

That's what I tell myself anyway.

Thank you for the thoughtful response and multiple listens!
I love the kintsugi idea of rebuilding with gold the cracks that were created from fractures. It was something I remember hearing about but I had forgotten the name. I might do an alternative title for the track one day, would you mind if I ran with your idea of kintsugi?

Also hear you on it’s what you tell yourself. Just because we tell ourselves stories doesnt mean they are artificial or wrong. I think we need meaning in our lives and they often come from stories. It makes me happy to be part of the artistic passion of making art and meaning out our feelings and experiences and talking about them like this:) thanks for being here

Yeah, run with it! Would love to hear an alternative version one day. I think a great thing about WB is it’s like a little story a week, and it can always be rooted in something but doesn’t have to be “true” either. Exploring can be cathartic

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