Recrystallize
By RajaTheResidentAlien on July 31, 2022 8:03 am
i cheated a bit! 
took my second week's track, and pitched it down half-speed to create the basic skeleton here(was pretty surprised it sounds like an entirely different track). then the rest flowed from there 
i'm not really a 'vocalist', i just have fun using my voice because i started young while attempting to imitate every little thing i heard from shows like BugsBunny, MontyPython, ScoobyDoo, Transformers(especially those 'Junkions' that spoke in radio-commercials like modern-day 'Bumblebee' does )... so i feel the need to go about vocals carefully diversified so no one expects a set thing from me 
in this case, i felt it was a style of vocalization i couldn't carry through with the right attitude, and i just had to let go of most of the lyrics i came up with, leaving me with just this as the final.
but hopefully that leaves it so others can add their own, better lyrics, someday.
i used the following:
renoise(w/ samples from my own collection), aalto, kaivo, & my voice(weird whale-like crooning and whistling which was pitched down most of the time (and put through ValhallaSupermassive reverb), along with all the hihat-like sounds, and the 'whispercore' lyrics which were put through the renoise 'convolver' plugin with a cymbal-crash-like sound as the impulse)
my 'whispercore'(is that a genre yet? if not, it should be).. chorus/lyrics:
"Flow
As we watch it go
Bring it back, recrystallize"
[update: i checked and found 'whispercore' IS a genre!
or at least a tag used by several bandcamp artists]
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› these are the verses i ended up not putting in
‹ these are the verses i ended up not putting in
"hear it as a statement made in defiance
suffering is seminal for any kind of triumph
transmutation to a higher state of being
requires the envisioning of all we've never seen
it starts on a leap of faith in love all around
then surges like a revolution breaking underground
in the dark, forms a spark, all shadows resolute
every riot feels like family setting down roots
*next lines with a little more 'uninterrupted-between-lines' recitation style*
flow as we watch it go
bring it back recrystallize our light
watch the world implode,
tryna make things go
by a fiery glow, serializing life
watch us work our thing
what we got to bring
with a powerful fistful to ignite
like to make it explode
feel the flames we throw
let it go, materialized in fight, ..this is how we flow.. *back into the chorus*
*final verses in fastest recitation style*
know our face in every shadow like mycelium creeps to rotting bones
growth displaced by every battle heals who weeps by slaughtering thrones
the clamor of hope we may somehow decentralize
bring it back, rewind, reanimate and revitalize
fighting fierce as the love through which we seek to arrive
this is how we.. *leads into chorus:*
flow... as we watch it go... bring it back recrystallize...(x4)"
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^i think those lyrics just maybe... try too hard to be 'fierce' (and when i tried to recite them, i just don't have enough of a serious kinda attitude in me: my general attitude is more like a humorous kinda crazy 
)
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So anyways...
› a little about where the song came from
‹ a little about where the song came from
having experienced serious clinical depression in the past, i think i'm managing to keep it churning and changing successfully... so far though, it's just been churning into an internalized anger(hence the feel of this song).
still with a positive side to it though: i found the most resilient way to keep managing everything for me is meditating every day. i did therapy for many years, now this to practice the neuroplasticity i learned from that: i focus on breathing deep within the body, all the way right down into the belly, and all manner of stubborn mindsets can suddenly break free-spirited and ethereal once i notice all the different feelings they can generate in the body - i'm even enjoying shedding all the unnecessary identities(male, south-asian-american, artist, musician, etc.)... if anything i’m simply an 'explorer of space-time continuum'.
i think of music as a way to navigate subset timelines within that continuum through 'feeling', whether emotional or physical or even just intellectual(even mathematics can carry all manner of sensory perception: signal processing is involved in how we socialize too) - no one can ever claim complete objectivity enough to truly be an all-knowing expert at it, same as life - we all have our individual, equally-important voices and perceptions.
my entire being is something i wish to leave more ethereal, without a static sense of identity, even my gender is something i see as 'gender ethereal': i don't need it to be solidified as a set identity all the time, i can pull from the 'ether of my being' and manifest it in different ways when it's actually applicable, and when it's not: i can just let it go(doesn't even need to be a constant 'fluid', it can remain 'ethereal' among the general void of space-time, even outside myself).
This is how i flow(with the changes), as i watch it go(often all to shit ), then bring it back, recrystallized (each time a little differently)
Feels similar to how the entire world is trying to come back to a 'normal', but everything will remain forever changed, and 'normal' must now be redefined in order to grow comfortable with what we're once tempted to label as 'uncomfortable'.
And last but not least: APOLOGIES MY DESCRIPTIONS ARE SO LONG! i'm excited to listen through an entire year's worth of work and read what i wrote about it, so i don't mean it as preachy or proud, it's just a fun kinda introspection for me 
-With a love born of humility,
raja
(released to public domain with CC0)
Keep it changing, y'all
