The Ride
By Minnamari on April 9, 2026 6:55 pm
[SKIP the first paragraph if you don't feel like reading details about illness etc..I don't know how to "roll up" the text under a clickable link, if anyone wants to teach me, feel free
I started writing this song sometime in 2022, as a way of processing events/experiences from when my first child was a baby. I spent a week hospitalized after a botched operation, trying to heal my beast inflammation.. Felt like a weird Frankenstein'monster with a tube stuck to my chest for days, and still tried to pump milk to bring my baby.. And then the hospital visits for months after, with bus rides home from the hospital, hoping the painkillers would kick in after all the biopsies they took to try to figure out why I wouldn't heal...But, the biggest pain was probably the pain I felt in my heart at the fact that for the first half year of my baby's life, it was painful to even hold him because I had gaping wounds in my chest. In the end it wasn't the doctors that healed me, but the way I started caring for myself again. But it's been tough. It's SO Hard to prioritize your own wellbeing when there's a tiny little human screaming for you. I was really overriding my own needs for that first half year..every person who is navigating this balancing act of caring for others + themselves to the best of their ability is a hero in my eyes.
This song was incomplete for many years, I couldn't find a way to wrap up the ending and I was honestly a bit shy to sing it because it has both some cheeky AND some deeply vulnerable parts. Well, maybe now I'm in a place where I don't care as much or I've healed enough or am just in a different place and feel like it's time to release this story. Maybe in releasing it, I can move forward even more fully. The ride goes on..
Lyrics:
A pregnant woman can also ride
Enjoying her body lying on the side
You know my legs can open really wide
I have the proof right here
Oh, I hope they won't mind...
Their mother needs to let out some steam
Or else she will start bursting at the seams
With heart and mind so open, there is nowhere I won't elope
And afterwards it all seems just like a dream
Life feels like a dream since you arrived here
Well, if I'm honest, it's a bloody nightmare
(at times)
And yet, I hope you know there's nothing I wouldn't do
I'd gladly give my life protecting you
But I'd rather try to live a life
That could inspire you
To live a life too
After my first child I was in denial
No one taught me how to mourn the death of my childless life
After the second one: No time for pride
Had to learn it only helps to look inside
That inner star is my tourist guide
This is a funny tour, this little thing called life
So much reason to be awed, yet so much strife
The thing that's supposed to nurture you
Is filled with wounds and bleeding too
The doctors take another biopsy
It seems my body will never be free
The biopsy gun makes another hole
While you are hungry waiting at home
I... disappear into the ceiling squares
Just somehow have to get out of there
The painkiller bus gets me home
But now there is really no hope
For milk to come out of this breast
Can't help feeling worse than the rest
Still you fall asleep at my chest
And I swear that You are the best
Life feels like a dream since you arrived here
And sometimes it might feel like a nightmare
But baby, I hope you know
I'm gonna try to help you grow
And while you grow, your mom will grow with you
She still has some growing to do too
Let's grow together, baby
I know there's a day when you're gonna fly away
But for now, we will have a ride of a lifetime
But for now, we will have a ride of a lifetime
Audio works licensed by author under:
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