Powerful! Nicely done with the layering of instruments and vocal styling!

Powerful! Nicely done with the layering of instruments and vocal styling!

Dang girl! So cool and icy and menacing! Love the synth. Great first effort.

Dang girl! So cool and icy and menacing! Love the synth. Great first effort.

Congrats!!!

welcome to the cult!

if you want to chat recording, let me know!  but sounds great and clear already!

Congrats!!! welcome to the cult! if you want to chat recording, let me know! but sounds great and clear already!

Wow, just wow. What a stunning song. Haunting melody, and your lyrics are great. Love the bursts of emotion with the drums. Sending this song to my wife now.

Welcome to WB! Looking forward to more

Wow, just wow. What a stunning song. Haunting melody, and your lyrics are great. Love the bursts of emotion with the drums. Sending this song to my wife now. Welcome to WB! Looking forward to more :)

love the feel of the drums with the bass and your vocals. excellent vocal rhythm with the bass that has a cool downtempo/trip hop feel to it.  Welcome to WB! 

love the feel of the drums with the bass and your vocals. excellent vocal rhythm with the bass that has a cool downtempo/trip hop feel to it. Welcome to WB!

Welcome to WB! Great first submission. I really enjoy the interplay/call-and-answer between the chorus melody and bass line. Is that you playing all of the instruments? Impressive!

Welcome to WB! Great first submission. I really enjoy the interplay/call-and-answer between the chorus melody and bass line. Is that you playing all of the instruments? Impressive!

Exactly the kind of thing i hope to come across listening to random stuff on WB. Love the timbre of your vocal. Cool stuff!

Exactly the kind of thing i hope to come across listening to random stuff on WB. Love the timbre of your vocal. Cool stuff!

Good composition! I like the vocal melody, fits very well with the lyrics and story. Important story too! And cool bass lines! Nice work recording everything, sounds really good and it's a lot going on, so kudos for the complete song!

The vocals and that whole break in general works really well approx 2:00 - "keep your eyes down!". super intimate with the dry vocals, quite chilling! also in the very end w solo vocals.

Something to consider, since you asked for feedback: You can try to slap a VERY TINY BIT (to taste) of compression and reverb on the final mix, to gel everything together so it feels like it is part of the same space... or at least to be aware of this choice. Most obvious to me is the vocals - they are performed well, recorded cleanly, but they are very dry compared to the other instruments so they sound like they are from another place. Drums are wet (long sustain on the cymbals and a bit of room sound), pads are wet (they have sustain because of the patch). Bass fits well with the vocals otherwise, and it could also be a stylistic choice to go dry vocals, as long as that was your intention.

Hope this helps, in any case this is really cool and hope you will come back with more!

Good composition! I like the vocal melody, fits very well with the lyrics and story. Important story too! And cool bass lines! Nice work recording everything, sounds really good and it's a lot going on, so kudos for the complete song! The vocals and that whole break in general works really well approx 2:00 - "keep your eyes down!". super intimate with the dry vocals, quite chilling! also in the very end w solo vocals. Something to consider, since you asked for feedback: You can try to slap a VERY TINY BIT (to taste) of compression and reverb on the final mix, to gel everything together so it feels like it is part of the same space... or at least to be aware of this choice. Most obvious to me is the vocals - they are performed well, recorded cleanly, but they are very dry compared to the other instruments so they sound like they are from another place. Drums are wet (long sustain on the cymbals and a bit of room sound), pads are wet (they have sustain because of the patch). Bass fits well with the vocals otherwise, and it could also be a stylistic choice to go dry vocals, as long as that was your intention. Hope this helps, in any case this is really cool and hope you will come back with more! :)

Thank you so much for the feedback! This really helpful info for me and I'll definitely consider it for my next composition. I really appreciate all the kind words about the song as well.

[quote=horatiuromantic]Good composition! I like the vocal melody, fits very well with the lyrics and story. Important story too! And cool bass lines! Nice work recording everything, sounds really good and it's a lot going on, so kudos for the complete song! The vocals and that whole break in general works really well approx 2:00 - "keep your eyes down!". super intimate with the dry vocals, quite chilling! also in the very end w solo vocals. Something to consider, since you asked for feedback: You can try to slap a VERY TINY BIT (to taste) of compression and reverb on the final mix, to gel everything together so it feels like it is part of the same space... or at least to be aware of this choice. Most obvious to me is the vocals - they are performed well, recorded cleanly, but they are very dry compared to the other instruments so they sound like they are from another place. Drums are wet (long sustain on the cymbals and a bit of room sound), pads are wet (they have sustain because of the patch). Bass fits well with the vocals otherwise, and it could also be a stylistic choice to go dry vocals, as long as that was your intention. Hope this helps, in any case this is really cool and hope you will come back with more! :)[/quote] Thank you so much for the feedback! This really helpful info for me and I'll definitely consider it for my next composition. I really appreciate all the kind words about the song as well.

Wow, such an amazing first WB! Can't wait to hear your progress this year. This is such a fun forum for experimenting and folks are so helpful and willing to share their incredible knowledge and expertise! Have a blast YAY

Wow, such an amazing first WB! Can't wait to hear your progress this year. This is such a fun forum for experimenting and folks are so helpful and willing to share their incredible knowledge and expertise! Have a blast YAY

But also yes these lyrics are sadly relatable

But also yes these lyrics are sadly relatable