Deep Breaths
By dadboy on April 19, 2026 1:29 pm
So this was kind of Saturday night speedtrash - if you see this this means I didn't come up with something better on Sunday 
. Fair warning - there's an (intentionally) very loud/abrasive section in the first minute, but it is quite short.
This is way more experimental and a lot less musical than I normally make (and if I'm honest, share, but I'm going to try to continue to be real). I had a number of initial ideas this week, but I struggled to take anything past that stage. I decided to make something specifically designed to reflect an common experience and practice for me, where I experience disregulation and have to recenter and regain control.
The opening section represents the context in which this experience often begins. I (by default) tend to rigidly compartmentalize, and when I get tired and overwhelmed, the strength of those walls weakens and fails. At that point, painful thoughts can start to 'leak,' and that can hit me like a ton of bricks (you'll know that part when it comes, lol, sorry). Even before I started therapy, I naturally had developed a practice of mindful breathing (as a bit of a survival strategy if nothing else), and that's something I continue to employ. The rest of the song is meant to represent that process of my mind and body slowing down and starting to re-regulate. It's not like everything suddenly is fine and I feel all better, but things settle and what I call "rat brain" gets under control.
Anyways, I have a lot of feelings about putting this out (I have arbitrarily high standards for myself that are hard to define and I struggle to feel like I've met them), but I promised myself I'd make every week and I don't have anything else and it's Sunday so wheeeeeeeeeee. If nothing else this is still authentic and maybe reflects an experience others have. Be well!
Audio works licensed by author under:
CC Attribution Noncommercial No Derivative Works (BY-NC-ND)
