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WeeklyBeats.com / Music / Cosmic Cairns's music / How Do They Know the Ferret Has Tinnitus?

How Do They Know the Ferret Has Tinnitus?

By Cosmic Cairns on April 11, 2026 6:24 pm

I was reading an article semi-recently and it mentioned that ferrets were the only animals other than humans that got tinnitus.  It didn't really elaborate much more on that, but it made me wonder how they know that a ferret gets tinnitus.  I'm sure it probably has something to do with ear structures or something like that, but the article itself talked about how tinnitus is a completely subjective experience.  That kind of got me thinking about how so many of our experiences are really subjective and it seemed like a fun/interesting thing to write a song about.

On a side note I have a bit of tinnitus myself.  I think it's a fairly mild case as I can usually tune it out, but it's definitely not super awesome.  Sometimes in really quiet rooms my ears will just start ringing loudly and every once in a while it makes it hard to go to sleep.  I probably spend too much time listening to headphones and I certainly went to a few really loud rock concerts in my day.  Maybe ferrets are super into rocking out???

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We don't really know if the colors we see are the same
Even though we mostly can agree upon their names
I don't know if ants have souls or if a fish can dream
Or if the people that I meet are really what they seem
If we only can perceive what's going on inside us
I wonder how do they know the ferret has tinnitus?

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Perception is a crazy thing, poor ferrets, I hear the buzz all the time. Must be the WiFi lol.

Cool 6-8 vibe.

Kind of weird but it works. smile

Didn't know "Acouphènes" was "Tinnitus", and didn't know ferrets can have those as well... You learn every day...

The ending is pretty epic, love the noises + drums + guitars, this is rocking!

This is a really great track, and very fun!
However, I think you may have entirely derailed my evening because I can't stop thinking about the implications of ferrets having tinnitus... I will be thinking about this for quite some time I am afraid.
The subjectivity of experiences is always such a strange thing to stop and think about.

I feel ya with the tinnitus.  Semi mild case myself back from when I used to be in a band and practice in a tiny metal warehouse space (oops).  Awesome combo of the drums, guitars and synths!  Def feel the ending yikes

Cosmic Cairns exploring the questions that keep us up at night.
i dig the 6/8 feel & magic melodies here. and hooo, that distorted guitar panned right towards the end... wowza!

Isn't it obvious? They just asked the ferret! Lol... I really like the guitar here, BTW!

They don't know! They can't? Everyone makes stuff up! I still believe those scientists.
You raise some good questions though in your lyrics. Deep thoughts really. All we have is our subjective experience. Our realities are all different, but we're usually good at coming to agreements on our shared words and stories and Ferret diagnosis.
Sorry you have the Tinnitus. That seems rough. I have abused my ears over the years. I'm more aware now, but occasionally end up at a show, too loud, and I'm too slow to move back or find pluggies. Livin on the edge! Hope it's not too bad for ya.
Loving this synth driven 6/8 shuffling groove. Very nice. Nice little break in the middle coming into a great solo.

Energetic and silly and a little melancholy. Love the drum fills in the first third, the build-up of synth layers makes me think of the big crescendo in Radiohead's Weird Fishes, and the high synth whine in the right ear made me laugh. Are you a fan of black metal? The outro makes be think of early Ulver, harsh washes of cymbals and huge but somber chords and hammering single-string guitar riffs.

For the lyrics: Is it goofy to wonder if we ever *really* connect to anyone else? Yeah, why else would there be such a bouncy sing-song melody? But is it real to wonder? Also yeah

Side note: one of my elementary school friends had a pet ferret, and it was constantly stinky. Maybe it needed the dirt to drown out the tinnitus

*Pours one out for the ferrets*

I dig the vocals, track just gets better and better as it progresses!!

Some of those chip leads actually hit the same frequencies as my tinnitus. This is a fun and educational track!

Ohp. Came back for the guitar solo. Posted too soon. Loved that bit.

mzunguko wrote:

Perception is a crazy thing, poor ferrets, I hear the buzz all the time. Must be the WiFi lol.

Ferrets seem pretty nice as far as I can tell.  I wouldn't wish tinnitus on them. 



djippy wrote:

Cool 6-8 vibe.

Kind of weird but it works. smile

Didn't know "Acouphènes" was "Tinnitus", and didn't know ferrets can have those as well... You learn every day...

The ending is pretty epic, love the noises + drums + guitars, this is rocking!

Thanks!  It was news to me, too. 



Tom Foolery wrote:

This is a really great track, and very fun!
However, I think you may have entirely derailed my evening because I can't stop thinking about the implications of ferrets having tinnitus... I will be thinking about this for quite some time I am afraid.
The subjectivity of experiences is always such a strange thing to stop and think about.

Subjectivity is very strange and in a very real sense it's all we have.  I'm still not entirely convinced I'm not some sort of reality-projecting machine and everything I encounter isn't just being experienced by me and me alone.  But that's probably not the case...  And also I feel bad for ferrets with tinnitus.



Tone Matrix wrote:

I feel ya with the tinnitus.  Semi mild case myself back from when I used to be in a band and practice in a tiny metal warehouse space (oops).  Awesome combo of the drums, guitars and synths!  Def feel the ending yikes

Oh yeah, I played in a few loud bands back in the day, too.  I took to wearing earplugs to practices after a bit because I kept walking out with ringing ears.  Probably did some damage then, too.



jwh wrote:

Cosmic Cairns exploring the questions that keep us up at night.
i dig the 6/8 feel & magic melodies here. and hooo, that distorted guitar panned right towards the end... wowza!

Someone has to ask, and it may as well be me.



jegasus wrote:

Isn't it obvious? They just asked the ferret! Lol... I really like the guitar here, BTW!

I guess they had Dr. Doolittle consulting on the case. lol



miraclemiles wrote:

They don't know! They can't? Everyone makes stuff up! I still believe those scientists.
You raise some good questions though in your lyrics. Deep thoughts really. All we have is our subjective experience. Our realities are all different, but we're usually good at coming to agreements on our shared words and stories and Ferret diagnosis.
Sorry you have the Tinnitus. That seems rough. I have abused my ears over the years. I'm more aware now, but occasionally end up at a show, too loud, and I'm too slow to move back or find pluggies. Livin on the edge! Hope it's not too bad for ya.
Loving this synth driven 6/8 shuffling groove. Very nice. Nice little break in the middle coming into a great solo.


I generally believe in science, but I would like more of an explanation how they know.  My own tinnitus is tolerable at the level it's at.  Hopefully it won't get any worse.  I don't go to too many loud concerts these days, but I'm still rocking out on headphones pretty often.


sleepside wrote:

Energetic and silly and a little melancholy. Love the drum fills in the first third, the build-up of synth layers makes me think of the big crescendo in Radiohead's Weird Fishes, and the high synth whine in the right ear made me laugh. Are you a fan of black metal? The outro makes be think of early Ulver, harsh washes of cymbals and huge but somber chords and hammering single-string guitar riffs.

For the lyrics: Is it goofy to wonder if we ever *really* connect to anyone else? Yeah, why else would there be such a bouncy sing-song melody? But is it real to wonder? Also yeah

Side note: one of my elementary school friends had a pet ferret, and it was constantly stinky. Maybe it needed the dirt to drown out the tinnitus

I wouldn't say I'm a huge black metal fan, although I actually have listened to a tiny little bit of Ulver.  I should probably check them out some more.  As for subjectivity and connecting (or not) with others, I feel like there's been ample evidence over the last decade that we are decidedly not all living in the same reality.  And my only real encounter with a ferret is a roommate I once had e(who actually was the one who told me about Weekly Beats, although he's sitting this year out) had one as a pet.  I have no idea if she had tinnitus or not.  Maybe, since we liked music and played a lot of it.  I don't recall her smelling particularly bad for whatever that's worth.



As_Yoesual wrote:

*Pours one out for the ferrets*

I dig the vocals, track just gets better and better as it progresses!!

Here's to the ferrets!  And thanks!  I like the end, too.



BarristerPlong wrote:

Some of those chip leads actually hit the same frequencies as my tinnitus. This is a fun and educational track!

BarristerPlong wrote:

Ohp. Came back for the guitar solo. Posted too soon. Loved that bit.

Thanks!  I was trying not to get too crazy hitting tinnitus-like frequencies, since I know from personal experience they're not completely pleasant, but I also wanted to sort of suggest the experience.

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