Weeklybeats 2018 was a 52 week long music project in which artists composed and publicly released 1 song a week for the entire year. Enjoy this archive of over 3,700 music compositions by over 260 artists.
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Song for Joy #52

By brian botkiller on December 25, 2018 10:07 pm

I've completed another year of Weekly Beats.
This has been probably the hardest year of my life.
I have worked really hard to keep my head above water this year. I've had a lot of challenges. Sadly my time in Minnesota has really put a serious stress on everything in my life, and basically all things are in the air now. I'm leaving Minnesota with a lot less than when I got here -- this place has really seriously worked me over in a lot of ways that I wasn't really ready for. 

I went into this project with the plan to write 52 songs for my wife. I have accomplished that. Unfortunately there's been a lot of trials within our lives this year, which I never foresaw happening. I don't know if that has all translated into the music -- my goal here was not to write traditional love songs, but to write songs that are about times/spaces/memories and inspired by these things.

As such, my final song of the year was inspired by this image:

Which I turned into MIDI using Tom Cosm's image to MIDI converter in Max 4 Live in Ableton Live.

I used that as the foundation of the song, and then layered in the other bits, a bit of techno-inspired pad and drums that are the sound that I love.

This picture means a lot to me -- it is from a trip to Colorado when Paula and I were just getting to know one another and falling in love. It's one of my favorite pictures on the planet. I believe it was taken by Steven Ziff.

I'd like to think that this type of happiness is attainable again -- I suppose we will see what the future holds. Unfortunately right now, my life is basically in a gazillion pieces and I have no idea how the fuck I'm putting them together.

For now, I leave this year knowing that I have done all that I can do to do things right in my life, and I hope that that translates into the future. I tried really hard to make everything work, I've worked myself to the bone. As of now I don't know where all that has gotten me. I'm terribly distraught and worn down. I'm not trying to be a downer, I assure you. I just don't know where my life is at right now. 

Thanks for listening.


This submission is licensed by author under CC Attribution Noncommercial No Derivative Works (BY-NC-ND)

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December 31, 2018 1:45 am

You'll have a whole year to get it sorted, unfortunately it'll also be a year without a lot of us. We'll still be around though.

January 6, 2019 6:26 am

Heartbreaking to read, I hope and am sure that things will get better for you heart Keep moving forward, and all the best in the coming year.

January 6, 2019 10:53 pm

I love you dude, and I am here for you.  Let me know how I can help; I'm always here to be a listening ear for your music or feelings otherwise


Happy New Year.

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