Weeklybeats is a 52 week long music project in which artists compose and publicly release 1 song a week for the entire year.
Starting December 29th 2019 GMT each participant will have one week to upload one finished composition. Any style of music or selection of instruments are welcomed and encouraged. Sign up or Login to get started or check our FAQ for any help or questions you may have.

Song for Joy #52

By brian botkiller on December 25, 2018 10:07 pm

I've completed another year of Weekly Beats.
This has been probably the hardest year of my life.
I have worked really hard to keep my head above water this year. I've had a lot of challenges. Sadly my time in Minnesota has really put a serious stress on everything in my life, and basically all things are in the air now. I'm leaving Minnesota with a lot less than when I got here -- this place has really seriously worked me over in a lot of ways that I wasn't really ready for. 

I went into this project with the plan to write 52 songs for my wife. I have accomplished that. Unfortunately there's been a lot of trials within our lives this year, which I never foresaw happening. I don't know if that has all translated into the music -- my goal here was not to write traditional love songs, but to write songs that are about times/spaces/memories and inspired by these things.

As such, my final song of the year was inspired by this image:

Which I turned into MIDI using Tom Cosm's image to MIDI converter in Max 4 Live in Ableton Live.

I used that as the foundation of the song, and then layered in the other bits, a bit of techno-inspired pad and drums that are the sound that I love.

This picture means a lot to me -- it is from a trip to Colorado when Paula and I were just getting to know one another and falling in love. It's one of my favorite pictures on the planet. I believe it was taken by Steven Ziff.

I'd like to think that this type of happiness is attainable again -- I suppose we will see what the future holds. Unfortunately right now, my life is basically in a gazillion pieces and I have no idea how the fuck I'm putting them together.

For now, I leave this year knowing that I have done all that I can do to do things right in my life, and I hope that that translates into the future. I tried really hard to make everything work, I've worked myself to the bone. As of now I don't know where all that has gotten me. I'm terribly distraught and worn down. I'm not trying to be a downer, I assure you. I just don't know where my life is at right now. 

Thanks for listening.

This submission is licensed by author under CC Attribution Noncommercial No Derivative Works (BY-NC-ND)

  • Play
  • Download
December 31, 2018 1:45 am

You'll have a whole year to get it sorted, unfortunately it'll also be a year without a lot of us. We'll still be around though.

January 6, 2019 6:26 am

Heartbreaking to read, I hope and am sure that things will get better for you heart Keep moving forward, and all the best in the coming year.

January 6, 2019 10:53 pm

I love you dude, and I am here for you.  Let me know how I can help; I'm always here to be a listening ear for your music or feelings otherwise

Happy New Year.


You need to login to leave a comment.
Login Sign-up