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WeeklyBeats.com / Music / ViridianLoom's music / Trying not to fade away

Trying not to fade away

By ViridianLoom on November 22, 2020 11:44 pm

Good news: The Korg Collection 2 went on sale this week, so I bought it wink. This song features the M1, Polysix, Wavestation, and the MS20. It feels really good to just be able to leave the project open and step away to go do other things without having to close it all down, reload all the instruments, and reassign the patches I was using just to pick up where I left off. I'm tagging this tune as "Vaporwave" mostly because Cocainejesus was a source of inspiration, not that it's really a true example of vaporwave.

Best News: My dad appears to be cancer free. Early this year, Week 5 to be exact, was when we got the pretty awful news that he had a malignant tumor in his throat. The news was like a ton of bricks that fell on me and when I get particularly bad news like that my defense mechanism is to mentally shut down while I try to process everything that I'm feeling. It wasn't until somewhere around week 30ish that my dad was finally able to begin treatment which entailed a combination of chemotherapy and radiation. I was remaining hopeful at the time that the treatment was going to be a good thing overall but you don't really know how bad that kind of treatment is until you see it firsthand. My dad's body composition seemed like it changed in just a week, he lost so much weight that even the muscle mass began to go. He was miserable all the time and constantly vomiting, so much so that he began to vomit blood just from the constant irritation. He thankfully made it through all 6 weeks or so of the treatment and he's been slowly recovering. He still has difficulty swallowing but he just got back from a recent PET scan and the good news was that they don't see any recurrence of the tumor. Very awesome.

Meh News: I am pretty fucking tired of working so much fucking over time. I swear I've complained about it every post but seriously, I've been working either 56 or 60 hour work weeks for nearly FOUR god damned months now. I'm frustrated and mentally drained. I'm tired of being tired and I'm pissed that when I'm done with my work days that I can't seem to unload and do what I want to do. I feels like I hardly have time to even destress. Furthermore, I live with my girlfriend and she's been having a tough time for other reasons I can't get into here but I've been unable to spend any amount of significant time with her. We used to go on hikes and stuff but I'm pretty tied up every weekend now, I can barely even muster the strength to make us a good dinner. It's bullshit. Anyways, the title of this track is more related to the current mindset I've been in the past few weeks. I'm trying to hang in there and make it to the end. 5 more weeks. Lets fucking do this.

BTW, for those of you who have read this far (thank you), how do you go about building your personal libraries of samples? I wanted to add some atmospheric wooshes and synthy sweeps and all manner of ambient sounds to this track but my library didn't really have anything that fit the bill. I know about places like looperman but are there good locations to purchase high quality sample packs or whatever?

This submission is licensed by author under CC Attribution Noncommercial No Derivative Works (BY-NC-ND)

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November 23, 2020 4:36 pm

awesome news, after all that your dad and your family been through. I wish you all a helpful recovery. Try it with delicious food and fresh air. I appreciate your will to continue till the end of this year. It is great to have you and your music with us.

November 24, 2020 12:26 am

Congratulations on the recovery! This sounds like it was both physically and mentally tough, it's really good the battle was won!

Good luck for the end of the year, I hope work gets better for you.

Nice track with a lot of good vibes!

For samples, I love Splice (https://splice.com/) - there are so many great packs, including random stuff (footsteps libraries! Sea mammals libraries! Gunshots! Video game characters! Exotic instrucments!

November 24, 2020 10:52 am

Congrats with your dad, the instruments and your song.

Hope you can find the time soon enough to do fun stuff again.

November 30, 2020 5:39 am

Hope everything gets better soon. For what it's worth, I love the mood and feel of this track. It's very contemplative and meditative in a way that's really easy to just flow with. smile

December 17, 2020 12:26 am

Congrats on your Dad!

I also really appreciate you writing out what you've been dealing with.  Hope things have improved by the time I'm leaving this comment.

Love the synthwavey vibes here!

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