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WeeklyBeats.com / Music / Tweaklab's music / Everything Is Not Going To Be Okay

Everything Is Not Going To Be Okay

By Tweaklab on January 14, 2024 9:08 pm

So for those who caught Week 1, this track will probably make a bit more sense. But to keep up with the current theme, my mum passed away on the 19th of December following a quadruple bypass.

The past week has mostly featured grief in the form of anger and frustration, the vibe (and Mick Gordon of a reference of a title) of the track really captures the feeling of being in that private room in the ICU breaking the news to my father that mum was not going to make it despite his optimism.

I am really happy with how my first tune went using ToneForge "Disruptor" I finally picked it up during black friday sales around November and it's used for both the bass track and lead guitar tone. The tuning is Double Drop D on my 8-string, aka, The Only Thing They Fear Is You tuning from DOOM Eternal.

The mix is no doubt sloppy, there are a lot of frequencies wanting front and center but that was kind of intentional given the inspo.

I feel like Week 1 was for Mum, Week 2 is for me.

The frustration comes from mum not taking her health seriously, due to her being a narcissist, the years she will never get back with me or my kids, that it was always up to me to avoid her egg shells to make any sort of a relationship work. That there are no do-overs, this is it.

Dark soundtrack rock, awesome!

Can feel the frustration. Dark, edgy, looooove it! Thanks for sharing!

Is Drum Bender handing those out like oscars?  If so, this one is for “baddest assest bassline & accompanying ambience”.  This track is sort of a masterpiece in darkickassery

Love the sound-design, heavy and impactful! The frustration and tension comes through nicely, got a satisfying hurt to the track heart
("The frustration comes from mum not taking her health seriously, due to her being a narcissist"... another way to think, if someone is truly narcissistic, it might be just as narcissistic of us to cling to our notion of how they should've been... i too, have narcissistic parents... but i'm thankful they could love me as much as they could given all the narcissism they grew up around(the entire world was different back then - people also used to frown on therapy, they didn't have the resources to understand themselves as well as we do now... and uh... just look at us now.. we, ourselves, don't completely understand given all these newer resources for understanding), just in case it helps give perspective)... hope it gets better and better smile

RajaTheResidentAlien wrote:

Love the sound-design, heavy and impactful! The frustration and tension comes through nicely, got a satisfying hurt to the track heart
("The frustration comes from mum not taking her health seriously, due to her being a narcissist"... another way to think, if someone is truly narcissistic, it might be just as narcissistic of us to cling to our notion of how they should've been... i too, have narcissistic parents... but i'm thankful they could love me as much as they could given all the narcissism they grew up around(the entire world was different back then - people also used to frown on therapy, they didn't have the resources to understand themselves as well as we do now... and uh... just look at us now.. we, ourselves, don't completely understand given all these newer resources for understanding), just in case it helps give perspective)... hope it gets better and better smile

Yay! The quote button is back! haha. But honestly, that is something I sometimes find myself thinking along the lines of also. Something I truly felt towards my mum in her final hours was empathy. Raw, unfiltered empathy. That she wasn't able to tap into a better understanding of herself, the impact it had on others, and ultimately what she missed out on as a result. Things have been so different in the month she has been gone, and I mean, in a lot of better ways, sadly. People are more relaxed at gatherings, people aren't hearing about he said/she said. So many people saying things like "this is how it could have always been." One of my older siblings summed it up well, years ago, with the saying "Hurt people hurt people." I wish mum could have learned how to heal and grow from her own hurt rather than hurting others, she gave therapy a single try and walked out, probably because she started to feel something that was attached to her inner demons.

your experience sounds very familiar smile i suppose since it's such a common experience in families, these "hurt people [who] hurt people" still serve a grand purpose in our lives: empathy is one of the most important parts of human evolution, and so it certainly wouldn't come easy.
may she rest in peace, and your family thrive in the memory heart

in a word: raw.

RajaTheResidentAlien wrote:

your experience sounds very familiar smile i suppose since it's such a common experience in families, these "hurt people [who] hurt people" still serve a grand purpose in our lives: empathy is one of the most important parts of human evolution, and so it certainly wouldn't come easy.
may she rest in peace, and your family thrive in the memory heart

Raja I heart u man

ineff wrote:

Is Drum Bender handing those out like oscars?

lol spot on

ineff wrote:

Is Drum Bender handing those out like oscars?  If so, this one is for “baddest assest bassline & accompanying ambience”.  This track is sort of a masterpiece in darkickassery


Thank youuuu smile I'm way behind on comments this year, thanks again for the time and feedback!

orangedrink wrote:

in a word: raw.

RajaTheResidentAlien wrote:

your experience sounds very familiar smile i suppose since it's such a common experience in families, these "hurt people [who] hurt people" still serve a grand purpose in our lives: empathy is one of the most important parts of human evolution, and so it certainly wouldn't come easy.
may she rest in peace, and your family thrive in the memory heart

Raja I heart u man

ineff wrote:

Is Drum Bender handing those out like oscars?

lol spot on

I'm listening to my earlier 2024 beats going "this was all just this year? It's only May?" haha time is really off.

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