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The Defender

By orangedrink on November 13, 2016 10:57 pm

I was working on another song and scrapped it and wrote these lyrics.  You might remember this beat from Week 39. 

In other news, my bass guitar input connection messed up and I successfully soldered it!


Lyrics:
When someone says, “How you doing?”
I automatically lie, “I’m fine thanks”
and then I try not to cry
If change the subject then hopefully they’ll stop it
I’m grinning and I’m nodding and I’m trying not to vomit


Is it really a concern with my mental health or is it
an opportunity to talk about yourself?
I don’t really care it doesn’t have to make sense
I’m just thinking someone else could be the captive audience


Second guessing and filled with doubt,
Everything considered we’re lucky that I left the house
Walking down the street someone looked at me
Immediately assume it’s about my sexuality


or ethnicity what is wrong with me?
Always on the defense without a law degree
I didn’t win the award but an honorable mention
for: “Getting Out Of Bed With Crippling Depression” 



Audio works licensed by author under:
CC Attribution Noncommercial Share Alike (BY-NC-SA)

Really nice, Drew. It's nice to turn your depression into awesome music. That's probably why I've had a couple of songs about suicide this year.

Sorry to hear you're dealing with depression, but I've got to agree it's really fantastic that you manage to channel it in such a positive way with your music.  Nice track!

Excellent track and lyrics!!
I love, 2/3 into the song, what you do with the background vocals, it somehow reminds me of a Velvet Underground song.
Sorry to hear you are not doing great these days. I guess music could be quite helpful in dealing with whatever it is that you are dealing with right now.

Edmund Snyder wrote:

Really nice, Drew. It's nice to turn your depression into awesome music. That's probably why I've had a couple of songs about suicide this year.

CosmicCairns wrote:

Sorry to hear you're dealing with depression, but I've got to agree it's really fantastic that you manage to channel it in such a positive way with your music.  Nice track!

dj someguy wrote:

Excellent track and lyrics!!
I love, 2/3 into the song, what you do with the background vocals, it somehow reminds me of a Velvet Underground song.
Sorry to hear you are not doing great these days. I guess music could be quite helpful in dealing with whatever it is that you are dealing with right now.

Thanks everyone for your support and concern!  While I cannot deny having these feelings for a large part of my life, I am happy to report that I don't necessarily deal with these conflicts on a daily basis.  Actually, I'm happier than I've ever been, but I feel like this is an important part of my story to tell.  The reality is, when I was "in it" I was too depressed to talk about it, so it's a sign of healing and growth that I can speak so candidly on this topic.

Edmund: Thanks - Suicide is a big topic for me in my past work and I think it really helped me deal with the feelings by having a safe place to talk about it in a song.

Cosmic: Thanks!  In a weird way it makes me very happy to talk about negative emotions in my work and get it out of my head.

Someguy: Wow, thanks!  I was really unsure about the vocal thingy and am glad someone liked it.  I actually almost scrapped it because it is such a weird dissonant note!  Like I said above, I'm actually doing AWESOME these days, and I think it is because my music has been flowing so well this entire year!! 


WEEKLYBEATS SAVED MY LIFE

Yes! This is awesome. great track

Geez, guys, don't give up! As long as you have the arts and can produce real quality like this, life shouldn't be unendurable. If you were politicians, then, yes...

Dope beat, really enjoyed the lyrics, very personal, thanks for sharing this

This is real tight!

Ipaghost wrote:

I like to pretend that you are also in love with Derek Jacobi, and you are posting all of these from the folder on your desktop called "<3 Derek heart"

:-)

orangedrink wrote:
Ipaghost wrote:

I like to pretend that you are also in love with Derek Jacobi, and you are posting all of these from the folder on your desktop called "&lt;3 Derek &lt;3"

:-)


Lol, google probably thinks I am at this point!

WoW! Heaps cooL! I love the style going on here, and tone of vocals... great work FantaMan! big_smile smile

Excellent work! I really dig your vocals and words. Well done and hard hitting

I agree wto, excellent work!

Sodabelly wrote:

Yes! This is awesome. great track

Thanks from Orange Drink to Sodabelly

Jim Wood wrote:

Geez, guys, don't give up! As long as you have the arts and can produce real quality like this, life shouldn't be unendurable. If you were politicians, then, yes...

heart

Jason Nijjer wrote:

Dope beat, really enjoyed the lyrics, very personal, thanks for sharing this

Thanks so much.  It's weird to be so personal, but I'm getting more comfortable with it.

Tweaklab wrote:

This is real tight!

!!! holla !!!

Podling wrote:

WoW! Heaps cooL! I love the style going on here, and tone of vocals... great work FantaMan! big_smile smile

cfurrow wrote:

Excellent work! I really dig your vocals and words. Well done and hard hitting

m2K7 wrote:

I agree wto, excellent work!

Thanks for listening you guys - your positive feedback helps temper the anxiety of being so really real on tracks.  (even instrumental ones, y'all know how it is)

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