If You Want To, That's Fine - orangedrink - WeeklyBeats.com

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WeeklyBeats.com / Music / orangedrink's music / If You Want To, That's Fine

If You Want To, That's Fine

By orangedrink on April 7, 2018 2:11 am

This song was inspired by three stories:

1: Two men in a closeted long distance relationship that lasted over 30 years. One man passes away and there is no mention of his partner in the will. The surviving partner reaches out to the family information. Nobody has ever heard of him. This causes him to question what he really meant to this other person.

2: Two men in a closeted relationship where both parties are also in opposite-sex relationships. They declare that they love each other, despite the circumstances. One partner decides that he's going to "go back" to being straight, and asks the other partner to never contact him again.

3: A Vietnam veteran struggling with dementia in a nursing home. He is gay and has no biological offspring, and his surviving family has shunned him. Only one person infrequently visits him. His failing memory convinces him that he's committed violent atrocities in the war, when in fact that is not true.

My 4-track recorder actually had a small explosion that sent smoke coming out of the unit! I think the tape belt got overheated and snapped. I got frustrated and just said screw it! I recorded the whole thing with one microphone, I didn't bother to turn off the heating unit, I embraced all the noise and grit and didn't give two cents about microphone placement and focused more on the emotions rather than anything sounding "good". This is the opposite strategy from "That, I Don't Know" which was trying to be as pro as possible. I might be able to do a better job of mixing, but again, nit picking. I will admit that I became very angry and sullen during the recording of this piece. It took me to a very sad and dark place. I am really proud of the piece and happy that I made it, but it got a little "too real" at times!

The ending is actually a bounce to cassette tape! I taped over my Led Zeppelin remasters tape from 1991 and even pulled out the tape and demagnetized it and screwed it up. Then I blended that to the ending of the piece along with bonus compression. The ending chorus has 4 different note variations on the vocal performance of the word "fine".

Lyrics:
I'm not sure what's left for me
but I know it's what we agreed
Nobody ever has time for me
If only they could see what I can see

If you want to, that's fine.

I am backlogged on listening to tracks! Thanks to everyone who listens, comments, and puts their heart in their work week after exhausting week!

Audio works licensed by author under:
CC Attribution Noncommercial Share Alike (BY-NC-SA)

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Tags: acoustic, depressing, emo, experimental, folk punk, lo fi, orange drink, rock, tape, vocals, week 14 2018, View by:orangedrink

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April 9, 2018 12:10 am

I liked this alot! especially the end, lovely production on the tapey bit. The vocals are really neat too, and really gels by the end.

April 9, 2018 2:05 am

I like your emo... emo good!

April 9, 2018 2:19 pm

Podling wrote:

I like your emo... emo good!

agreed! has a really great alt rock / folk punk vibe especially with those thrashy drums coming in in the latter half. vocal delay on that chorus/mantra is excellent. ending is my favorite with that tape flutter compression, such a unique way to end the track.

April 9, 2018 2:54 pm

Lots of raw energy and power! Catchy tune, too.

April 9, 2018 9:42 pm

Great song. perfect analog atmo. love the song.

April 9, 2018 11:01 pm

The inspiring stories are all interesting and quite sad. The track itself is very nice and catchy. I love the gritty almost lo-fi feel. Vocals are excellent, drums sound badass, and the ending adds a nice wrap-up.

April 9, 2018 11:48 pm

Another beautiful composition. Very real. Everything you put into it becomes part of the story like a tapestry of sounds and techniques. I don't know, or comprehend what kind of gear you are using that is catching fire and using belts. Is this an old reel to reel or some kind of difference engine? Love all the noisey tape quality and cassette sounds. Great vocals and always a cool natural (if trashy) drum sound.

April 10, 2018 12:48 am

really nice work, orange drink. great tune! that piano is sweet

April 10, 2018 7:41 am

really great tune. love the drums and the chorus!

April 10, 2018 2:51 pm

That's a real good Song!
Mix is great with that chorus...

April 11, 2018 12:20 am

Feeling feelings. Awesome track. Heartbreaking stories, and love the lyrics you were inspired to write. Cool production ideas and results with the tape, get some non-digital character going, awesome. Love where it glitches out in the end.

April 11, 2018 8:18 am

These stories add so much more meaning to this song. Thanks for sharing this. To me it is similar to Pearl Jam's Elderly Woman - all that existential stuff over the span of 4 minutes is pretty intense. All those personal tragedies are totally invisible to the wide world, but they mean the world to people actually experiencing them.

April 11, 2018 8:22 am

In fact I would even say that to me the musical production values really mean way way less when dealing with material like this - who the fuck cares if the reverb is not perfect or something is clipping when the story itself gives so much meaning. All the imperfections and faults just add more beauty and life to the song.

April 11, 2018 9:46 pm

A job well done for sure. You probably could've incorporated the breakdown at the end into the/a story.

April 12, 2018 3:56 pm

You had me air drumming once the drums kicked in with the bass. Awesome sound and track!

April 14, 2018 12:42 am

i love how this is recorded! it sounds like the process was frustrating/emotional but oh golly jeepers it came out well! there is something hopeful feeling in this emo

April 15, 2018 11:42 am

What is that effect on the drums!? Such a great effort for one week. I genuinely liked the song, thanks.

April 25, 2018 11:48 am

Love the lofi quality of this recording. Nicely captured.

May 1, 2018 9:06 am

Excellent, well done!
Music and emotions are closely interwoven.

June 4, 2018 6:12 pm

alonemusic wrote:

I liked this alot! especially the end, lovely production on the tapey bit. The vocals are really neat too, and really gels by the end.

Thanks so much - it was a weird production risk, but glad you got it.

Podling wrote:

I like your emo... emo good!

so EMO!

Parallelis wrote:

Podling wrote:
I like your emo... emo good!

agreed! has a really great alt rock / folk punk vibe especially with those thrashy drums coming in in the latter half. vocal delay on that chorus/mantra is excellent. ending is my favorite with that tape flutter compression, such a unique way to end the track.

Thanks! I think I could have done a better job with the tape destruction, maybe revisit for album release! It was a fun experiment.

Jim Wood wrote:

Lots of raw energy and power! Catchy tune, too.

Thanks, Jim! Always appreciate your encouragement and friendship

Q-Rosh wrote:

Great song. perfect analog atmo. love the song.

Danke my friend!

CosmicCairns wrote:

The inspiring stories are all interesting and quite sad. The track itself is very nice and catchy. I love the gritty almost lo-fi feel. Vocals are excellent, drums sound badass, and the ending adds a nice wrap-up.

I really bummed myself out writing this, but I feel happy about the finished product!

NWSPR wrote:

Another beautiful composition. Very real. Everything you put into it becomes part of the story like a tapestry of sounds and techniques. I don't know, or comprehend what kind of gear you are using that is catching fire and using belts. Is this an old reel to reel or some kind of difference engine? Love all the noisey tape quality and cassette sounds. Great vocals and always a cool natural (if trashy) drum sound.

I can't find the exact model, but it is something like this:

but it broke before recording, so all of this was digital! (until the ending, which is a bounce to tape)

cfurrow wrote:

really nice work, orange drink. great tune! that piano is sweet

Bleeoop wrote:

really great tune. love the drums and the chorus!

theGuen wrote:

That's a real good Song!
Mix is great with that chorus...

I'm really happy you folks liked it. Thank you!

[quote=alonemusic]I liked this alot! especially the end, lovely production on the tapey bit. The vocals are really neat too, and really gels by the end.[/quote] Thanks so much - it was a weird production risk, but glad you got it. [quote=Podling]I like your emo... emo good![/quote] so EMO! ;) [quote=Parallelis][quote=Podling]I like your emo... emo good![/quote] agreed! has a really great alt rock / folk punk vibe especially with those thrashy drums coming in in the latter half. vocal delay on that chorus/mantra is excellent. ending is my favorite with that tape flutter compression, such a unique way to end the track. [/quote] Thanks! I think I could have done a better job with the tape destruction, maybe revisit for album release! It was a fun experiment. [quote=Jim Wood]Lots of raw energy and power! Catchy tune, too.[/quote] Thanks, Jim! Always appreciate your encouragement and friendship :heart: [quote=Q-Rosh]Great song. perfect analog atmo. love the song.[/quote] Danke my friend! :) [quote=CosmicCairns]The inspiring stories are all interesting and quite sad. The track itself is very nice and catchy. I love the gritty almost lo-fi feel. Vocals are excellent, drums sound badass, and the ending adds a nice wrap-up.[/quote] I really bummed myself out writing this, but I feel happy about the finished product! [quote=NWSPR]Another beautiful composition. Very real. Everything you put into it becomes part of the story like a tapestry of sounds and techniques. I don't know, or comprehend what kind of gear you are using that is catching fire and using belts. Is this an old reel to reel or some kind of difference engine? Love all the noisey tape quality and cassette sounds. Great vocals and always a cool natural (if trashy) drum sound. [/quote] I can't find the exact model, but it is something like this: [img]https://medias.audiofanzine.com/images/thumbs3/tascam-portastudio-414-mkii-611915.jpg[/img] but it broke before recording, so all of this was digital! (until the ending, which is a bounce to tape) [quote=cfurrow]really nice work, orange drink. great tune! that piano is sweet [/quote] [quote=Bleeoop]really great tune. love the drums and the chorus![/quote] [quote=theGuen]That's a real good Song! Mix is great with that chorus...[/quote] I'm really happy you folks liked it. Thank you!

June 4, 2018 6:16 pm

miraclemiles wrote:

Feeling feelings. Awesome track. Heartbreaking stories, and love the lyrics you were inspired to write. Cool production ideas and results with the tape, get some non-digital character going, awesome. Love where it glitches out in the end.

Thank you so much, MM!

thawkins wrote:

These stories add so much more meaning to this song. Thanks for sharing this. To me it is similar to Pearl Jam's Elderly Woman - all that existential stuff over the span of 4 minutes is pretty intense. All those personal tragedies are totally invisible to the wide world, but they mean the world to people actually experiencing them.

Not only did you "get it", but you really "went there" with me on this journey. That means a lot to me and I appreciate it. Thank you.

Devieus wrote:

A job well done for sure. You probably could've incorporated the breakdown at the end into the/a story.

Brilliant. Thanks for that! Just like the stories, the song doesn't "end well"

Tone Matrix wrote:

You had me air drumming once the drums kicked in with the bass. Awesome sound and track!

Thanks! I am so proud of the beat - I think it's the best rhythmic beat I've ever written.

kaedo sevaada wrote:

i love how this is recorded! it sounds like the process was frustrating/emotional but oh golly jeepers it came out well! there is something hopeful feeling in this emo

nothing but hearts to you!

Ryan wrote:

What is that effect on the drums!? Such a great effort for one week. I genuinely liked the song, thanks.

Ha ha ha, the drum effect is called "bad microphone placement" - I used one microphone, and set it pretty far away in the room, and set it at an angle where it caught more reflections than source. It was a headache because I had to "repair" the crap sound with EQ after the fact, but it ended up being pretty charming. Thank you so much.

rdomain wrote:

Love the lofi quality of this recording. Nicely captured.

All emotion, zero brain! Thank you.

m2K7 wrote:

Excellent, well done!
Music and emotions are closely interwoven.

You got that right!

[quote=miraclemiles]Feeling feelings. Awesome track. Heartbreaking stories, and love the lyrics you were inspired to write. Cool production ideas and results with the tape, get some non-digital character going, awesome. Love where it glitches out in the end. [/quote] Thank you so much, MM! [quote=thawkins]These stories add so much more meaning to this song. Thanks for sharing this. To me it is similar to Pearl Jam's Elderly Woman - all that existential stuff over the span of 4 minutes is pretty intense. All those personal tragedies are totally invisible to the wide world, but they mean the world to people actually experiencing them. [/quote] Not only did you "get it", but you really "went there" with me on this journey. That means a lot to me and I appreciate it. Thank you. [quote=Devieus]A job well done for sure. You probably could've incorporated the breakdown at the end into the/a story.[/quote] Brilliant. Thanks for that! Just like the stories, the song doesn't "end well" [quote=Tone Matrix]You had me air drumming once the drums kicked in with the bass. Awesome sound and track![/quote] Thanks! I am so proud of the beat - I think it's the best rhythmic beat I've ever written. [quote=kaedo sevaada]i love how this is recorded! it sounds like the process was frustrating/emotional but oh golly jeepers it came out well! there is something hopeful feeling in this emo [/quote] :heart: nothing but hearts to you! [quote=Ryan]What is that effect on the drums!? Such a great effort for one week. I genuinely liked the song, thanks.[/quote] Ha ha ha, the drum effect is called "bad microphone placement" - I used one microphone, and set it pretty far away in the room, and set it at an angle where it caught more reflections than source. It was a headache because I had to "repair" the crap sound with EQ after the fact, but it ended up being pretty charming. Thank you so much. [quote=rdomain]Love the lofi quality of this recording. Nicely captured.[/quote] All emotion, zero brain! Thank you. [quote=m2K7]Excellent, well done! Music and emotions are closely interwoven.[/quote] You got that right! :)

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