› Story

‹ Story

I woke up one day and had the main chorus in my head - "Hold my hand and push me off a ledge, but hold it tight so you can save me". There is something pure about this feeling, a reckless abandon, a yearning for self destruction and salvation through trust, and also something very absurd and contradictory about it which I absolutely love. The rest of the lyrics are literal mumbles I recorded into my phone right after waking up, afraid to open my eyes from fear that I would forget even a single word. They came to me as you hear them, mostly, and I transcribed them from the recording. They weren't in tempo or anything, and there was a bit of adjusting to fit the music and a bit of rhyming but mostly it's clean cut from the dream. Which makes this song my ~4th song from a dream. I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

I took longer to make the latest songs I've been making (I don't count the weird quiet day and noise uploads as songs), but they have gotten quite good if you ask me. I'm very excited to record them in the studio eventually, for now I am practicing them live around town and it's a blast!

After playing it twice to a live audience, I got a lot of good reactions and love from the audience and fellow musicians. This song is definitely something and I can't wait to record it properly someday, I intend to give it a nice orchestral treatment - maybe not as cheezy as some of my older work (or maybe even cheezier still - I think it has a lot of capacity for cheese) but in any case it can support a lot of nice layers because the core is quite sparse and goes from very soft all the way to high intensity at the end.

The only thing it needs compositionally is a stronger or better defined bridge. It's basically there, but the melody is not so clear, the chords are not so clear, and the transition to and from it could use some work. In the WB version, as opposed to the blue video version, I do some nicer stuff near the end - because I sang some lines out of order by mistake, I had to reinvent the melody, and it worked v well because the change was needed. On the other hand, I am not too tight with the entrances so for example I wanna say "Hold" right on top of the piano chord, rather than a bit later.

Ehh anyway, it was a blast to play it! I love this song and I hope you will enjoy it thoroughly!

› Lyrics

‹ Lyrics

(note that these are my lyrics from my notes, but I misread them, I think in both versions, so what you read here is not exactly what is heard)

We made it again    to the promise land
The questions we never    got to the bottom of
Iiiii can see    the lights at the end
Ain't there a bigger truth    than a lie

It's a mystery   and a deep concern
How we shall ever   love one another
We might just fall   into a great hole
And get smashed up against  each other

Iiii never thought I could   learn to fly
expanding my infinite   horizon
in truth I expected   to crawl like a worm
for the rest of my pitiful   existence

R
Hold my hand and push me off a ledge
But hold it tight so you can save me
Hold my hand and push me off a ledge
But hold it tight so you can save me

Pull my finger and grab me by the hair
you always knew how to bless me
I don't need you, need anyone
can be alone forever

Read my lips as I tell you to fuck off
The online spaghetti of nanofiber dreams
The spider in my bathroom sings loudly of his daughter
I sit and weep in the shoooower

R
hold my hand

I could see you there  in the foggy dark
reflecting the lights  of the fireflies
all them pretty bugs   would love to fly around
circling and entering  your eyes

you had your tongue out and shake your head
ain't nothing like it so scary
I stopped to breathe and you punch me in the throat
I gasp and remember  beauty

bridge???

oh you treat me  so nice and kind
I couldn't believe  the power in your voice
to save and cure  my weary mind
you're gravitational  and I never had a choice

You found me in the dark lookin like a fool
look like a scary  motherfucker (bastard)
I tell you no lie  if I die right now
I'll still remember  your laughter

R
hold my hand

self destruction that's the   name of the game
isn't my life so   special?
Iiiii'm closing    my eyes to time
ain't nothing   that I can't see

walking in   a straight line
into paths   I never seen
feeling the rocks   from under my feet
thru the blood   and callouses

watching close  as my eyes start to bleed
I become  a walking fountain
eventually  I lay myself down
on the side of the mountain

R
won't you hold my hand and push me off a ledge
but hold me tight so you can save me