Wow... great vox and harmonies. Nice work! Always great to hear a well crafted pop song and vocal arrangement. Hearing some kind of compression issue (for lack of better description) that's messing with the mix.

Wow... great vox and harmonies. Nice work! Always great to hear a well crafted pop song and vocal arrangement. Hearing some kind of compression issue (for lack of better description) that's messing with the mix.

Yes, this is really good; just the right amount of instrumental tonal drift. Agree about the compression/limiting.

Yes, this is really good; just the right amount of instrumental tonal drift. Agree about the compression/limiting.

Bright n cute. We've all been there!
Loving the bassline, grabbed me straight away.

Bright n cute. We've all been there! Loving the bassline, grabbed me straight away.

Geez, what happened to your car?

Geez, what happened to your car? [url="http://giphy.com/gifs/car-chris-farley-tommy-boy-feO9ESQit0QM0"][img]https://media0.giphy.com/media/feO9ESQit0QM0/200.gif[/img][/url]

Thanks.  Yeah, I was running out of time and said "good enough."

Thank you.  Original melody, but I borrowed the chord progression from the Rod Stewart song "I Don't Want to Talk About It."  You can't tell, though, because other than that the song is completely different.

Thank you.  I've been a bassist a lot longer than I've been a guitarist.

It was an AMC Hornet... need I say more?  In addition to the issues mentioned in this song, it also had a driver's side floorboard that was an actual piece of plywood that I had screwed into place over the rusted out hole.  It was either the plywood, or pretend I was driving a Flintstone's car.  But I was 17 at the time, so...

[quote=NWSPR]Wow... great vox and harmonies. Nice work! Always great to hear a well crafted pop song and vocal arrangement. Hearing some kind of compression issue (for lack of better description) that's messing with the mix.[/quote] Thanks. Yeah, I was running out of time and said "good enough." [quote=Jim Wood]Yes, this is really good; just the right amount of instrumental tonal drift. Agree about the compression/limiting.[/quote] Thank you. Original melody, but I borrowed the chord progression from the Rod Stewart song "I Don't Want to Talk About It." You can't tell, though, because other than that the song is completely different. [quote=Lyons]Bright n cute. We've all been there! Loving the bassline, grabbed me straight away.[/quote] Thank you. I've been a bassist a lot longer than I've been a guitarist. [quote=Ipaghost]Geez, what happened to your car? [url="http://giphy.com/gifs/car-chris-farley-tommy-boy-feO9ESQit0QM0"][img]https://media0.giphy.com/media/feO9ESQit0QM0/200.gif[/img][/url][/quote] It was an AMC Hornet... need I say more? In addition to the issues mentioned in this song, it also had a driver's side floorboard that was an actual piece of plywood that I had screwed into place over the rusted out hole. It was either the plywood, or pretend I was driving a Flintstone's car. But I was 17 at the time, so...

Lyrics are really cute, and I really like the whole kind-hearted story.

Sonicwise, I see a big problem in here: lead guitar is ALWAYS making figures and don't give space to the voice. They're always competing and fighting for the listener's attention. THat's very common in guitarrist who first lay down the guitar parts and then the lyrics.

IMHO, why don't you try a simple: intro => ( drums + rhythm guitar ) => verse (drums + bass + rhythm + vocals) => bridge ( bass + rhythm variation + lead guitar => 2nd verse => outro (drums + bass + rhytm + soloing guitar). Plus, the drums are quite linear and don't make any fills inbetween groups of bars.

That being said, it's easy for me to throw this out when I'm not writing any lyrics or vocals on my work, so kudos to you, as I've mentioned several times, becasu you do double effort as a lyricist and singer.

I think the vibe of nostalgic romantic innocence in this song deserves further development.

What DAW are U using, Edmund? is it Presonus Studio One, right?   

Lyrics are really cute, and I really like the whole kind-hearted story. Sonicwise, I see a big problem in here: lead guitar is ALWAYS making figures and don't give space to the voice. They're always competing and fighting for the listener's attention. THat's very common in guitarrist who first lay down the guitar parts and then the lyrics. IMHO, why don't you try a simple: intro => ( drums + rhythm guitar ) => verse (drums + bass + rhythm + vocals) => bridge ( bass + rhythm variation + lead guitar => 2nd verse => outro (drums + bass + rhytm + soloing guitar). Plus, the drums are quite linear and don't make any fills inbetween groups of bars. That being said, it's easy for me to throw this out when I'm not writing any lyrics or vocals on my work, so kudos to you, as I've mentioned several times, becasu you do double effort as a lyricist and singer. I think the vibe of nostalgic romantic innocence in this song deserves further development. What DAW are U using, Edmund? is it Presonus Studio One, right?

Yes, I use Studio One.  I think my biggest issue now is that I run out of time and have to say "good enough." That doesn't mean that I don't still appreciate your advice because it's usually very good and has helped me grow immeasurably as I'm sure it will continue to do.

[quote=laguna]Lyrics are really cute, and I really like the whole kind-hearted story. Sonicwise, I see a big problem in here: lead guitar is ALWAYS making figures and don't give space to the voice. They're always competing and fighting for the listener's attention. THat's very common in guitarrist who first lay down the guitar parts and then the lyrics. IMHO, why don't you try a simple: intro => ( drums + rhythm guitar ) => verse (drums + bass + rhythm + vocals) => bridge ( bass + rhythm variation + lead guitar => 2nd verse => outro (drums + bass + rhytm + soloing guitar). Plus, the drums are quite linear and don't make any fills inbetween groups of bars. That being said, it's easy for me to throw this out when I'm not writing any lyrics or vocals on my work, so kudos to you, as I've mentioned several times, becasu you do double effort as a lyricist and singer. I think the vibe of nostalgic romantic innocence in this song deserves further development. What DAW are U using, Edmund? is it Presonus Studio One, right? [/quote] Yes, I use Studio One. I think my biggest issue now is that I run out of time and have to say "good enough." That doesn't mean that I don't still appreciate your advice because it's usually very good and has helped me grow immeasurably as I'm sure it will continue to do.

Well, I didn't mean to be harsh on the song. I completely understand that feeling. I really mean it's very difficult what you (and a few other) lyricists are achieving here. I really liked the vibe of it.

Maybe If you wish you could send me some audio tracks and we could work them together, because I feel sometimes producers tend to "make judgements", which it easy, but don't back our statements with actual work.

Let me know if you dig the idea, Edmund.

[quote=Edmund Snyder] Yes, I use Studio One. I think my biggest issue now is that I run out of time and have to say "good enough." That doesn't mean that I don't still appreciate your advice because it's usually very good and has helped me grow immeasurably as I'm sure it will continue to do.[/quote] Well, I didn't mean to be harsh on the song. I completely understand that feeling. I really mean it's very difficult what you (and a few other) lyricists are achieving here. I really liked the vibe of it. Maybe If you wish you could send me some audio tracks and we could work them together, because I feel sometimes producers tend to "make judgements", which it easy, but don't back our statements with actual work. Let me know if you dig the idea, Edmund.

I don't really use dropbox, but I could set up a Google Drive folder and give you access to it in which I could put some stems.  I'd like a day or so to create some drum fills and maybe a strummed chord track instead of just the plucked fingerstyle and "lead" parts that are currently available.  That would give you a bit more to work with.  I also don't have separate vox harmony tracks for this particular song because I was testing out a new .vst that I got (izotope Nectar 2), but I can export both the dry and wet vox tracks if that would be useful.

I would love to hear what your ears and skills could do with it.

[quote=laguna][quote=Edmund Snyder] Yes, I use Studio One. I think my biggest issue now is that I run out of time and have to say "good enough." That doesn't mean that I don't still appreciate your advice because it's usually very good and has helped me grow immeasurably as I'm sure it will continue to do.[/quote] Well, I didn't mean to be harsh on the song. I completely understand that feeling. I really mean it's very difficult what you (and a few other) lyricists are achieving here. I really liked the vibe of it. Maybe If you wish you could send me some audio tracks and we could work them together, because I feel sometimes producers tend to "make judgements", which it easy, but don't back our statements with actual work. Let me know if you dig the idea, Edmund. [/quote] I don't really use dropbox, but I could set up a Google Drive folder and give you access to it in which I could put some stems. I'd like a day or so to create some drum fills and maybe a strummed chord track instead of just the plucked fingerstyle and "lead" parts that are currently available. That would give you a bit more to work with. I also don't have separate vox harmony tracks for this particular song because I was testing out a new .vst that I got (izotope Nectar 2), but I can export both the dry and wet vox tracks if that would be useful. I would love to hear what your ears and skills could do with it.

Will be my pleasure. I think I'll manage with GoogleDrive. Drop me an email from my profile so we could stay in touch. You can also find me on Soundcloud

[quote=Edmund Snyder] I don't really use dropbox, but I could set up a Google Drive folder and give you access to it in which I could put some stems. I'd like a day or so to create some drum fills and maybe a strummed chord track instead of just the plucked fingerstyle and "lead" parts that are currently available. That would give you a bit more to work with. I also don't have separate vox harmony tracks for this particular song because I was testing out a new .vst that I got (izotope Nectar 2), but I can export both the dry and wet vox tracks if that would be useful. I would love to hear what your ears and skills could do with it.[/quote] Will be my pleasure. I think I'll manage with GoogleDrive. Drop me an email from my profile so we could stay in touch. You can also find me on Soundcloud

great to hear you sing again.

great to hear you sing again.