Overdose
By As_Yoesual on February 9, 2024 10:53 pm
This track... is a bit personal.
About a year ago, I was at Awakenings Festival, and during the evening, I decided to take some X. I don't use it often, and I knew it was relatively safe because it was from a batch and "provider" that I have known for quite some time now.
However, I did not expect someone to simultaneously slip something into my drink.
No clue why; it still pissed me off thinking about it.
Things were going well until I saw weird people walking by- a baker, police officers, firemen, and the same group of people no matter where I looked. Suddenly, I realized that something was wrong and that I needed to go to the ER as fast as possible.
I told my girlfriend, which is the last clear thing I remember.
Everything afterward was a horrible trip, resulting in a near-death experience.
During this trip, I talked to a higher presence that refused to allow me to live, no matter how much I pleaded for my life, bargaining every part of my being in the hope that it would be enough to convince this being to let me live.
I was in full panic mode.
Every time my heart raced to over 200 beats per minute, all the music sounded super fast. People were screaming, walking by, bumping into me, and everything repeated faster and faster, over and over. So, I needed to calm myself down.
Slow breaths, slower, take it easy. Deep breaths.
The music faded away, all the lights turned off, people cleaned up the festival, and then there was darkness.
My heart stood still.
Adrenaline shot, and my heart raced again. The lights went back on, and the music started playing faster and faster- too fast. I needed it to slow down. Deep breaths. Slower. Slower. Too slow. The music faded again; the lights went off. Darkness.
My heart rate is going up too fast, down too slow, over and over, over and over.
Finally, it found a rate it was comfortable with, and things started to make sense again.
My brother guided me out of my bad trip, the doctor pushed me through my overdose, and my girlfriend (now wife) kept telling me everything was all right.
I am still recovering; I still have panic attacks. I still have occasional dissociations with the world around me.
I'll be fine, not now, but I know I'll be fine at some point.
I managed to create this track, and while I would love to edit it so it has a few more ups and downs... I can't listen to it anymore. Maybe later.
For now. It is good enough.
Deep breaths.
___
Thank you for listening.
Audio works licensed by author under:
CC Attribution Noncommercial No Derivative Works (BY-NC-ND)